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Band 4.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #newspapers #news #media
In
this
 concurrent world, it's always
debitable
Correct your spelling
debatable
show examples
 between
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and other
media
 to stay updated with
treads
Correct your spelling
trends
show examples
. Some
people
 concur that
newspapers
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 efficient way to
learns
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
information
Change preposition
about whats
show examples
whats
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
 happening around the world
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
rejecting
Wrong verb form
reject
show examples
this
 notion. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate in more detail about other views and
thus
 lead to a
logic
Replace the word
logical
show examples
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
. The first and foremost reason is that many old
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to read
information
 through
newspapers
 because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 know how to use technology.
In addition
, by glancing
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 mobile or tablet for several hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
result brightness of gadgets
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indirectly affects
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there is no
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 that
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we are reading in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 true.
For instance
, during covid times, social
media
 stated that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 safe to go out without
mask
Correct article usage
a mask
show examples
. Some
people
belief
Replace the word
believed
show examples
 that statement and went out.
As a result
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 were affected by diseases.
Thus
,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that reading news in the
newspapers
 undeniably merits.
On the other hand
,
people
 can stay
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 with news wherever they go. To deep into more detail,
for example
,
people
 who are working, they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have much time to read
newspapers
. By using an electronic gadget, they get
notification
Fix the agreement mistake
notifications
show examples
 and stay informed.
Moreover
,
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 be wait for
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
 day
,
Change preposition
for, latest
show examples
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
information
print
Replace the word
printed
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
 and
delivery
Replace the word
delivered
show examples
 to the convenience store. In
recaptisulation
Correct your spelling
recapitulation
, I
reiternate
Correct your spelling
reiterate
reiterated
 that there are strong innumerable factors supporting
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that other
media
 helps us to stay with trends.
While
 driving the car,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can stay informed with the news.
Consequenly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, I agree with the latter statement.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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language
Try to avoid using informal language or slang terms like 'concur' and 'debitable'. Opt for formal, precise language to enhance clarity and tone.
structure
Ensure that paragraphs have clear topic sentences and develop one main idea. Each paragraph should smoothly transition to the next, maintaining a consistent line of argument across the essay. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
development
Ensure every point is well-supported with relevant examples or detailed explanations, as this strengthens your argument and demonstrates depth of thinking.
breadth
The essay discusses both views regarding news consumption comprehensively, covering aspects from both sides of the argument.
structure
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, providing an overall structure to your essay.
example
Your essay touches on an interesting and relevant example regarding COVID-19 misinformation on social media, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news coverage
  • perspectives
  • opinions
  • accessed
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • multimedia
  • combination
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