Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Road
safety becomes
severe
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a severe
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problem for
citizen
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citizens
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and government, with numerous vehicle accidents and mortality. Some people assert that imposing much stricter punishments is the only measurement to guarantee
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety, but arguably, others contend the indispensability of ethical value promotion and
technology
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technological
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advancement. Personally, I observe that everlasting
road
security should be maintained by diverse approaches and we cannot only resort
penalty
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to penalty
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as the
last
straw. It is undeniable that
implementation
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the implementation
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of
more
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a more
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punitive
policy
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policies
show examples
can restrict the
offenses'
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offences'
show examples
behavior
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behaviour
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. Specifically,
this
strategy can serve as a post hoc method for warning the possible illegal action.
Nevertheless
, people tend to give in to
desire
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the desire
show examples
for alcohol or
drug
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drugs
show examples
, trespassing the sanctity of the law.
Therefore
, it can be inferred that it is inadequate to depend on stricter punishment. Beyond punishments, some argue
power
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the power
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of education and technology cannot be
neglect
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neglected
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. Given passive punishment may lose effect, educating the harmful impact
resulted
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resulting
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by
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from
show examples
road
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
can
give
Verb problem
have
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subliminal
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a subliminal
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influence
to
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on
show examples
drivers
while
improve
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improving
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the security system within the vehicle can prevent the potential danger during illegal driving. Based on
this
,
responsible
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a responsible
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drive
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driving
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atmosphere can be fostered and sustained even if some driving
offenses
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offences
show examples
occur. In conclusion,
whereas
stricter punishment may mitigate the situation to some extent, the development of friendly driving cannot
achieve
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be achieved
show examples
with the absence of technology and education tools. Ultimately,
road
safety should be created through the
effort
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efforts
show examples
from
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of
show examples
government
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the government
show examples
, communities, and individuals together.
Submitted by jin16118 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all your ideas are clearly connected and there is a logical flow throughout the essay. Use linking words effectively to enhance the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument and stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have a structured conclusion that summarizes your key points and reiterates your opinion, providing a clear end to your essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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