Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Road
safety becomes
severe
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a severe
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problem for
citizen
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citizens
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and government, with numerous vehicle accidents and mortality. Some people assert that imposing much stricter punishments is the only measurement to guarantee
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety, but arguably, others contend the indispensability of ethical value promotion and
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancement. Personally, I observe that everlasting
road
security should be maintained by diverse approaches and we cannot only resort
penalty
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to penalty
show examples
as the
last
straw. It is undeniable that
implementation
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the implementation
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of
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
punitive
policy
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policies
show examples
can restrict the
offenses'
Change the spelling
offences'
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Specifically,
this
strategy can serve as a post hoc method for warning the possible illegal action.
Nevertheless
, people tend to give in to
desire
Correct article usage
the desire
show examples
for alcohol or
drug
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drugs
show examples
, trespassing the sanctity of the law.
Therefore
, it can be inferred that it is inadequate to depend on stricter punishment. Beyond punishments, some argue
power
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the power
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of education and technology cannot be
neglect
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neglected
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. Given passive punishment may lose effect, educating the harmful impact
resulted
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resulting
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by
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from
show examples
road
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
can
give
Verb problem
have
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subliminal
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a subliminal
show examples
influence
to
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on
show examples
drivers
while
improve
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improving
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the security system within the vehicle can prevent the potential danger during illegal driving. Based on
this
,
responsible
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a responsible
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drive
Replace the word
driving
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atmosphere can be fostered and sustained even if some driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
occur. In conclusion,
whereas
stricter punishment may mitigate the situation to some extent, the development of friendly driving cannot
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
with the absence of technology and education tools. Ultimately,
road
safety should be created through the
effort
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efforts
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, communities, and individuals together.
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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, as this will add depth to your essay and make your stance more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your ideas are clearly connected and there is a logical flow throughout the essay. Use linking words effectively to enhance the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument and stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have a structured conclusion that summarizes your key points and reiterates your opinion, providing a clear end to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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