Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #safety #roads #punishments #offenses

People

have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both

punishments

and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits. On the one hand, strict

punishments

can certainly help to encourage

people

to drive more safely. Penalties for dangerous

drivers

can act as a deterrent, meaning that

people

avoid repeating the same offence. There are various types of driving

penalty

Fix the agreement mistake

penalties

show examples

such

as small fines, licence suspension, driver awareness courses, and even prison sentences. The aim of these

punishments

is to show dangerous

drivers

that their actions have negative consequences.

As a result

, we would hope that

drivers

become more disciplined and alert

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that they follow the rules more carefully.

On the other hand

, I believe that safe driving can be promoted in several different ways that do not punish

drivers

Firstly

, it is vitally important to educate

people

properly before they start to drive, and

this

could be done in schools or even as part of an extended or more difficult driving test.

Secondly

, more attention could be paid to safe

road

design.

For example

, signs can be used to warn

people

, speed bumps and

road

bends can be added to calm traffic, and speed cameras can help

Verb problem

apply

show examples

deter

people

from driving too quickly.

Finally

, governments or local councils could reduce

road

accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer

people

would need to travel by car. In conclusion,

while

punishments

can help to prevent bad driving, I believe that other

road

safety measures should

also

be introduced.

Submitted by jin16118 on Tue Oct 29 2024

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improvement

Consider giving more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the argument and make it more relatable for readers.

improvement

To achieve an even higher score, you could explore more thoroughly how each suggested measure specifically contributes to road safety.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with ideas flowing smoothly from one paragraph to the next.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument regarding road safety measures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?

Most people pay taxes to contribute to the development of their country, however, some think they do not have to pay taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion