Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both
punishments
and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits. On the one hand, strict
punishments
can certainly help to encourage
people
to drive more safely. Penalties for dangerous
drivers
can act as a deterrent, meaning that
people
avoid repeating the same offence. There are various types of driving
penalty
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penalties
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,
such
as small fines, licence suspension, driver awareness courses, and even prison sentences. The aim of these
punishments
is to show dangerous
drivers
that their actions have negative consequences.
As a result
, we would hope that
drivers
become more disciplined and alert
,
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and that they follow the rules more carefully.
On the other hand
, I believe that safe driving can be promoted in several different ways that do not punish
drivers
.
Firstly
, it is vitally important to educate
people
properly before they start to drive, and
this
could be done in schools or even as part of an extended or more difficult driving test.
Secondly
, more attention could be paid to safe
road
design.
For example
, signs can be used to warn
people
, speed bumps and
road
bends can be added to calm traffic, and speed cameras can help
to
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deter
people
from driving too quickly.
Finally
, governments or local councils could reduce
road
accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer
people
would need to travel by car. In conclusion,
while
punishments
can help to prevent bad driving, I believe that other
road
safety measures should
also
be introduced.
Submitted by jin16118 on

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improvement
Consider giving more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the argument and make it more relatable for readers.
improvement
To achieve an even higher score, you could explore more thoroughly how each suggested measure specifically contributes to road safety.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with ideas flowing smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument regarding road safety measures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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