clearly seen that there was considerable development of the Happy Valley
Shoping
Correct your spelling
Shopping
Center.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
notably the lake was disappeared and replaced by furniture retail.
Body paragraph 2
According to
Linking Words
the first
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
there was a lake which was surrounded the many trees and entrance the was
lobby
Correct article usage
a lobby
show examples
area
Use synonyms
between
coffee
Add an article
a coffee
the coffee
show examples
shop and toilets,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
the center there was
entertainment
Correct article usage
an entertainment
show examples
area
Use synonyms
under the food
store
Use synonyms
. In the east of the
building
Add a comma
building,
show examples
there were
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
store
Use synonyms
,
electronic
Correct article usage
an electronic
show examples
store
Use synonyms
and
furniture
Correct article usage
a furniture
show examples
store
Use synonyms
. In the
Body paragraph 3
north
Capitalize word
North
show examples
of the building under the entertainment
Use synonyms
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
there were 4
elevator
Fix the agreement mistake
elevators
show examples
and stairs for the second floor.
Conclusion
In the second picture, the parking lot, coffee shop and lobby
area
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
destroyed
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the map in 2012. The furniture retail was constructed
replace
Fix the infinitive
to replace
show examples
the lake. The food
store
Use synonyms
changed the sports
store
Use synonyms
and electronics
store
Use synonyms
, meanwhile
toilet
Correct article usage
the toilet
show examples
and entertainment
area
Use synonyms
still
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
akzharkynzhamal
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to revise the essay to include clear introduction and conclusion sentences that effectively frame your report.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence clarity by reducing fragmented sentences; ensure each sentence communicates a complete idea.
task achievement
Use clearer structures to compare the changes over the years, ensuring that major changes are clearly distinguished.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and mention details where relevant to enhance comprehension and response completion.
task achievement
The essay covers a comparative overview of the maps, making clear references to major changes such as the disappearance of the lake.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize content chronologically, providing a structured view of developments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Some societies think that getting an achievement is about having a lot of money and various materials. Even though, many aspects of people are honoured as successful. I ensure that there is another way to be regarded as successful.
The idea of telecommuting is a debate the first side of which advises that doing so could bring advantages to the employees and their families; however, the second side claims that this could bring about stress in the home. While the latter seems to be more logical, both points of view will be discussed as follows.
Today, using advertisements is an important and well-known method in marketing companies. There are several ways to attract clients all over the world, such as social media, influencers, and many more. Some individuals believe that advertising is highly effective in convincing consumers to make purchases. Conversely, others argue that advertising has become so widespread that it fails to capture their attention. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Thanks to the technological revolution, every single part of our lives has been altered significantly, and the same can be said for the way that people do their jobs. While some argue that the traditional way of performing occupations is a thing of the past, in my view, although online working at home allows employees to save their time on commuting, in-person working is too important to be replaced by its modern counterparts.
In this contemporary epoch, self-employment culture has become widespread. There are multiple causes for this phenomenon. In this essay, I will talk about the causes and the potential challenges that face individuals who are self-employed.