clearly seen that there was considerable development of the Happy Valley
Shoping
Correct your spelling
Shopping
Center.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
notably the lake was disappeared and replaced by furniture retail.
Body paragraph 2
According to
Linking Words
the first
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
there was a lake which was surrounded the many trees and entrance the was
lobby
Correct article usage
a lobby
show examples
area
Use synonyms
between
coffee
Add an article
a coffee
the coffee
show examples
shop and toilets,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
the center there was
entertainment
Correct article usage
an entertainment
show examples
area
Use synonyms
under the food
store
Use synonyms
. In the east of the
building
Add a comma
building,
show examples
there were
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
store
Use synonyms
,
electronic
Correct article usage
an electronic
show examples
store
Use synonyms
and
furniture
Correct article usage
a furniture
show examples
store
Use synonyms
. In the
Body paragraph 3
north
Capitalize word
North
show examples
of the building under the entertainment
Use synonyms
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
there were 4
elevator
Fix the agreement mistake
elevators
show examples
and stairs for the second floor.
Conclusion
In the second picture, the parking lot, coffee shop and lobby
area
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
destroyed
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the map in 2012. The furniture retail was constructed
replace
Fix the infinitive
to replace
show examples
the lake. The food
store
Use synonyms
changed the sports
store
Use synonyms
and electronics
store
Use synonyms
, meanwhile
toilet
Correct article usage
the toilet
show examples
and entertainment
area
Use synonyms
still
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
akzharkynzhamal
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to revise the essay to include clear introduction and conclusion sentences that effectively frame your report.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence clarity by reducing fragmented sentences; ensure each sentence communicates a complete idea.
task achievement
Use clearer structures to compare the changes over the years, ensuring that major changes are clearly distinguished.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and mention details where relevant to enhance comprehension and response completion.
task achievement
The essay covers a comparative overview of the maps, making clear references to major changes such as the disappearance of the lake.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize content chronologically, providing a structured view of developments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
In the modern era, there has been a trend from people residing by themselves or with their friends rather than living with their original families compared to the past. With this issue, there can be a positive aspect at the individual's level, but it cannot be deniable that a negative impact can be prevalent at the society level which I am personally in the same vein. Therefore, both views will be discussed below with my personal viewpoint.
Some individuals argue that authorities ought to spend money on faster public transportation, while others believe that there are other crucial precedences, such as cost and environment. I believe we should spend money on transportation but also spend payment on other things, I will elaborate on it in this essay.
In the developing world, young people are deferring the age of having a family. Even sometimes individuals cannot start a family because of genetic features. I believe that getting married and having children after their thirties is a positive trend. For the reason that they are sufficiently adult to provide for their children and to give them a brilliant upbringing.
In an ever-progressive society, people nowadays tend to long for things constantly in terms of commodity news and services. In light of this, I contend that this status derives from the desire for time saving. Moreover, this is a negative change due to the reduction in quality.
In this era, numerous people take some academic subjects in universities, whereas many claim that we should absorb them into some technical courses because of a lack of forced workers like electricians and plumbers. I agree with this theory because the speed of development of a country will be increased dramatically.