Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are contrasting views on whether allowing
children
to make their own choices on daily matters. Some people believe that it will result in a society of self-centered
individuals Change the spelling
self-centred
while
others consider that which is a
essential part Change the article
an
during
Change preposition
of
children
’s growth process. There is no final correct answer to this
argument, and both these views have their own reasons.
For those
who suggest that making Change preposition
Those
children
to
decide on themselves is a kind of leading to only think about their own wishes, probably believe that Change the verb form
apply
children
is
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
self-control and will become Change preposition
apply
over controlling
. In their opinion, once Add a hyphen
over-controlling
children
gain the power to make their own decisions
, they abuse that power without restraint. Children
will become more willful and put their own benefits on
the first place. Change preposition
in
Furthermore
, some children
Correct pronoun usage
who is
is
used to making their own choices will be likely to ignore other people’s opinions and go on their way, which will result in a selfish and mistrustful society.
Change the verb form
are
On the other hand
, people believing that making decisions
by children
themselves is important for their development focus more on the acquisition of qualities. To decide
on every Fix the infinitive
Decide
matters
Change to a singular noun
matter
such
as food, clothes and entertainment enables children
to concentrate on their own developments
, which cultivates their Fix the agreement mistake
development
independences
, Fix the agreement mistake
independence
problem solving
skills and moral minds. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
Furthermore
, children
are given more desire to grow into responsible adults, who will work harder to adjust and regulate their behaviors
and make correct Change the spelling
behaviours
decisions
in their future lives.
In my opinion, it’s difficult to justify which view is correct but to strike a balance between them would be wise. Encouraging children
to make their own decisions
gives them freedom
to explore what is truly good for them and what are they really looking for. In Add an article
the freedom
this
process, children
will quickly improve their ability to be independent. But parents should also
set boundaries and limits to adjust and correct their children
while
finding they are on the wrong track.
In general, making children
decide on themselves is a necessary part during
their growth. But the key is to educate Change preposition
of
children
to understand the significance of every choices
they Change to a singular noun
choice
made
Wrong verb form
make
,
and find out the best suitable way for their development.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, provide real-life scenarios or studies that illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest. While the connections are clear, more complex sentences could enhance the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before sharing a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-presented, clearly framing the topic and summarizing the writer’s opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, helping the reader to follow the discussion smoothly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.