Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are contrasting views on whether allowing
children
to make their own choices on daily matters. Some people believe that it will result in a society of
self-centered
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self-centred
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individuals
while
others consider that which is
a
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an
show examples
essential part
during
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of
show examples
children
’s growth process. There is no final correct answer to
this
argument, and both these views have their own reasons.
For those
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Those
show examples
who suggest that making
children
to
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apply
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decide on themselves is a kind of leading to only think about their own wishes, probably believe that
children
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
self-control and will become
over controlling
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over-controlling
show examples
. In their opinion, once
children
gain the power to make their own
decisions
, they abuse that power without restraint.
Children
will become more willful and put their own benefits
on
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in
show examples
the first place.
Furthermore
, some
children
Correct pronoun usage
who is
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
used to making their own choices will be likely to ignore other people’s opinions and go on their way, which will result in a selfish and mistrustful society.
On the other hand
, people believing that making
decisions
by
children
themselves is important for their development focus more on the acquisition of qualities.
To decide
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Decide
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on every
matters
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matter
show examples
such
as food, clothes and entertainment enables
children
to concentrate on their own
developments
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development
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, which cultivates their
independences
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independence
show examples
,
problem solving
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problem-solving
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skills and moral minds.
Furthermore
,
children
are given more desire to grow into responsible adults, who will work harder to adjust and regulate their
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
and make correct
decisions
in their future lives. In my opinion, it’s difficult to justify which view is correct but to strike a balance between them would be wise. Encouraging
children
to make their own
decisions
gives them
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to explore what is truly good for them and what are they really looking for. In
this
process,
children
will quickly improve their ability to be independent. But parents should
also
set boundaries and limits to adjust and correct their
children
while
finding they are on the wrong track. In general, making
children
decide on themselves is a necessary part
during
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of
show examples
their growth. But the key is to educate
children
to understand the significance of every
choices
Change to a singular noun
choice
show examples
they
made
Wrong verb form
make
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and find out the best suitable way for their development.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, provide real-life scenarios or studies that illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest. While the connections are clear, more complex sentences could enhance the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before sharing a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-presented, clearly framing the topic and summarizing the writer’s opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, helping the reader to follow the discussion smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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