You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
A lot of nations have made it mandatory for males to join military forces after secondary education. It
is
ought to be an excellent opportunity for all nations around the world to incorporate Unnecessary verb
apply
this
law for males, as well as
females. I agree with this
viewpoint,
because it would help in the holistic development of young adults and infuse a feeling of patriotism for one's Remove the comma
apply
nation
.
First and foremost, army
is considered to be a tough job which serves as a building block for shaping Add an article
the army
stronger
mindset and gaining physical strength. Correct article usage
a stronger
For instance
, the
military training is one of the hardest; originally designed to train soldiers for the war and prepare them mentally for all the upcoming Correct article usage
apply
harships
and threats. Their survival skills are strengthened, sustaining brave individuals. Correct your spelling
hardships
Therefore
, armed forces aid in overall
development of young men and women.
Add an article
the overall
Furthermore
, serving for
the Change preposition
apply
nation
inculcates a feeling of patriotism among people, so they tend to love their country even more and are ready to sacrifice. For example
, Koreans respect their nation
and culture the most, because of the fact that they are sent to services after high school graduation. Consequently
, most of these individuals decide to stay in their home country for higher education and serve the community in all aspects. Thus
, it will lead to positive development of the nation
and its economy.
To conclude
, in numerous countries
it is obligatory to join Add a comma
countries,
army
after high school. From my Add an article
the army
pespective
, it is a viable option considering its advantages to individuals and respective nations. Not only does it support the holistic growth of young adults before they step out in the world Correct your spelling
perspective
for attending
universities and Change preposition
to attend
seeking
jobs, but Wrong verb form
seek
also
, benefits the Correct pronoun usage
it also
home-country
in retaining youth.Correct your spelling
home country
Submitted by bidingmehakjot on
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vocabulary
Consider using more varied vocabulary and less common phrases to further enhance the complexity and richness of your language.
task achievement
Try to develop points with even more depth. For instance, include the potential drawbacks of compulsory service or different perspectives on patriotism.
organization
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
logical structure
The points are logically sequenced, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
examples
The essay offers relevant and specific examples, which strengthens the points being made.