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To improve the job prospects, some people want the secondery schools to spend more time teaching communication and business skills and spend less time teaching history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #prospects #people #secondery #schools #time #communication #business #skills #history
It is true some people want to improve their job prospects in
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secondary schools by spending more time teaching
communication
 and
business
skills
 and applying less time teaching history.
Additionally
, I agree with the opinion, It is because these days there are many jobs that need
communication
 and
business
skills
.
Therefore
, learning
communication
 and
business
skills
 will be more useless than learning the others. As I have said before, being prepared to learn
communication
 and
business
skills
 will help us in the future.
As a result
, if
someone
 has learned these
skills
 when they are at secondary school
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it can help to be prepared for the sustainable off-job. In
this
 era applying everything needed for these
skills
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will be beneficial for those
who
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whom
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someone
have
Change the verb form
has
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 these
skills
. It is because
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like a
business
 applies if the market offers higher rather than the supplier applies the product will be expensive and rare.
In addition
 to that, is applied at one of the highest prices in the market or office.
Thus
, if
someone
 has these
skills
 it means they can get a lot of money from the job and it will be easier than
someone
 do not have these
skills
.
On the other hand
, learning these
skills
 has some problems for them especially if
someone
 learned from secondary school.
This
 is because applying it
skills
 is more difficult to learn than others and it will be burned for them to apply especially if
someone
 does not like it or does not want to be a worker. In conclusion, I believe that to improve
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job prospects one needs some
skills
such
 as
communication
 and
business
skills
. It is because
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there are several reasons apply why I suppose the opinion.
In contrast
, the knowledge of getting these
skills
 applied will be burned for the children
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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task response
Your essay needs to address the topic more clearly by focusing on how teaching communication and business skills might improve job prospects compared to teaching history. Currently, the response is a bit vague and lacks depth.
coherence cohesion
Working on structuring your essay logically will greatly help. Ensure each paragraph flows from one to the next, supporting your main points. It feels a bit disjointed at the moment.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This makes your points more persuasive and grounded.
introduction
You have stated a clear opinion in your introduction, which is good for setting the stage for your arguments.
What to do next:
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