It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

people believe that animal extinction
such
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as dinosaurs is a natural mechanism , and no reason to protect
animals
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from
this
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process. I firmly disagree with
this
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statement , and in
this
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essay, I will explain my reasons. Reduction in numbers of different animal species
due to
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illegal and dangerous human activities .
In other words
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, people who start hunting without respecting the laws and a variety of pollutions that are caused by humans lead to climate changes that damage wildlife.
For example
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, researchers in Australia believe that Coalas will become extinct in 2030
due to
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climate changes and high temperature,
as a result
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, the forest will be under the risk of fire that will kill different creatures. Illegal hunting has a crucial impact on
animals
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, most people who do
this
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type of activity are thinking about the financial income , not about the dangerous
animals
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.
However
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, multiple ways could help to protect endangered
animals
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.
Firstly
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, the government and policymakers need to establish restrictive guidelines for hunting and rule breakers will receive penalties
such
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as money tickets or prison punishment .
Secondly
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, start raising awareness by campaigns about animal extinction ,
this
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could be done through social media.
Lastly
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, money is funded by businessmen to places or companies that try to take care of
animals
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. In conclusion, animal species need to be protected to prevent decreasing their numbers . Human impact on animal extinction is significant
due to
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pollution or hunting. Cooperation between government, policymakers, and businessmen could be beneficial in
this
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issue .

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Task Achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction more distinctly. You can briefly outline your main supporting points to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and that the ideas flow logically between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall clarity of your argument.
General Language Use
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation. For instance, ‘people believe that animal extinction such as dinosaurs is a natural mechanism’ could be clearer if rephrased to ‘people believe that the extinction of animal species, such as dinosaurs, is a natural process.’
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the potential extinction of koalas, which supports your argument well.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion against extinction, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
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