IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. as

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Some would think that surrounding
problems
Use synonyms
 should be resolved on a global
scale
Use synonyms
 or it is convenient to solve nationally. I believe that it would be
betterto
Correct your spelling
better to
 make a deal with
issues
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
scale
Use synonyms
 because it will be convenient to make
right
Add an article
the right
a right
show examples
 decision
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 all
Use synonyms
problems
Correct article usage
the problems
show examples
 of certain
countries
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 that need an aim about environmental
issues
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.
While
Linking Words
 solving
problems
Use synonyms
 nationally it gives you more opportunities to be private and be responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 solution. On the one hand,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of
solution
Add an article
the solution
show examples
 in
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
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way
Add a comma
way,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
worldwide
Add an article
a worldwide
the worldwide
show examples
scale
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 to the environmental problem. By collaborating they can support each other and be useful in the future for
common
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a common
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 goal.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 it makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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 to solve hard
problems
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such
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 as climate
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
, pollution, global warming from fossil fuels, poor governance and food waste.
For example
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,
Paris
Correct article usage
the Paris
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 Agreement on climate change. It was adopted in 2015,
brought
Correct word choice
and brought
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 together almost two hundred
countries
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.
On the other hand
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, solving
problems
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 privately shows
liability
Add an article
the liability
show examples
 of these
countries
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. By solving nationally they show their independence of their life by
this
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 they take full responsibility
of
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for
show examples
 tackling
issues
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.
For example
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, some private governments banned using
single-plastic
Correct your spelling
single plastic
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 bottles. I believe
this
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 method
countries
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 can keep regulations. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 globalism can decrease responsibility of
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 care of
problems
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 it is faster to solve
problems
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 correspondingly. It is recommended to address certain environmental
issues
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 on a global
scale
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, especially those that are huge
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as climate change and pollution. By working together,
countries
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 can share resources and technology
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
making it
easierto
Correct your spelling
easier to
 achieve significant progress.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve logical structuring, and make logical connections more explicit between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but aim to give a clearer, more concise statement of your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You addressed both views of the task and gave your opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay uses examples, such as the Paris Agreement, to illustrate points, which is beneficial to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Efforts were made to discuss solutions from both a national and global perspective, which enhances the depth of the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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