Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there has been increasing
demands
for buying Fix the agreement mistake
demand
infrustructure
needs, including books, air tickets, and groceries. There are some pros and cons regarding Correct your spelling
infrastructure
this
issue, and I believe the merit of Linking Words
parchasing
whatever we need Correct your spelling
purchasing
override
its demerits.
Correct subject-verb agreement
overrides
To begin
with, online shops may not be reliable for some Linking Words
of
individuals since they are more likely to be victims of Change preposition
apply
a
fraud or Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
scam
, as soon as they order anything on the internet. Fix the agreement mistake
scams
This
results in making them feel insecure with Linking Words
regards
to Fix the agreement mistake
regard
parchase
items online. Correct your spelling
purchase
Moreover
, it can be time-consuming for customers under some circumstances, which means the Linking Words
parchases
might receive Correct your spelling
purchases
to
buyers later than they expect. Change preposition
by
In other words
, there is a delay in getting their orders; Linking Words
this
can be Linking Words
due to
the air conditions, Linking Words
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
congestions
, to name but a few.
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
on the other hand
, it is not always doom and gloom; the Linking Words
benfits
of ordering online would be far overpower its negative points. First and foremost, in comparison with physical stores, which may cause inconvenience in some situations, convenience is the most crucial merit of shopping online as buyers can stay home and browse on their phones in order to buy whatever they need. Correct your spelling
benefits
Furthermore
, there are a number of Linking Words
platfoms
for shopping on the Correct your spelling
platforms
internet
, ranging from popular to unfamiliar ones which offer unbelievable discounts, owing to Capitalize word
Internet
compete
with their rivals. Wrong verb form
competing
This
not only can be Linking Words
beneficial
for business Correct word choice
apply
owner
, but it is Fix the agreement mistake
owners
also
for consumers because they Linking Words
do not
afford Verb problem
cannot
for
some items which Change preposition
apply
values
more than their prices.
Wrong verb form
valued
To conclude
, these days there is a substantial demand for Linking Words
parchasing
goods on the Correct your spelling
purchasing
internet
. From my point of view, the advantages of Capitalize word
Internet
this
matter far overpower its disadvantages since both Linking Words
costumers
and Correct your spelling
customers
seller
can take advantage of shopping online, namely Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
enjoing
the convenience and reasonable prices, Correct your spelling
enjoying
while
it may Linking Words
some
drawbacks which are not considered in comparison with its Add a missing verb
have some
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
such
as lacking Linking Words
of
saving time and being a victim of a scam or fraud.Remove the preposition
apply
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt and presents an argument that the benefits of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages. However, the response could be more complete by providing further specific examples to support the claims.
task achievement
While the ideas are generally clear, some sentences lack clarity due to minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Work on sentence structure to ensure your ideas are communicated more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is evident, and the essay is structured with an introduction and conclusion. However, the main points need clearer support and connection throughout the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic effectively and outlines your argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
You concluded with a summary of your main points, reinforcing your argument that the benefits are greater.
task achievement
You recognized several pros and cons of online shopping, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example