Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there has been increasing
demands
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demand
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for buying
infrustructure
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infrastructure
needs, including books, air tickets, and groceries. There are some pros and cons regarding
this
issue, and I believe the merit of
parchasing
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purchasing
whatever we need
override
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overrides
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its demerits.
To begin
with, online shops may not be reliable for some
of
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apply
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individuals since they are more likely to be victims of
a
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apply
show examples
fraud or
a
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apply
show examples
scam
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scams
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, as soon as they order anything on the internet.
This
results in making them feel insecure with
regards
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regard
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to
parchase
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purchase
items online.
Moreover
, it can be time-consuming for customers under some circumstances, which means the
parchases
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purchases
might receive
to
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by
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buyers later than they expect.
In other words
, there is a delay in getting their orders;
this
can be
due to
the air conditions,
traffic
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and traffic
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congestions
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congestion
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, to name but a few.
on the other hand
, it is not always doom and gloom; the
benfits
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benefits
of ordering online would be far overpower its negative points. First and foremost, in comparison with physical stores, which may cause inconvenience in some situations, convenience is the most crucial merit of shopping online as buyers can stay home and browse on their phones in order to buy whatever they need.
Furthermore
, there are a number of
platfoms
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platforms
for shopping on the
internet
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Internet
show examples
, ranging from popular to unfamiliar ones which offer unbelievable discounts, owing to
compete
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competing
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with their rivals.
This
not only can be
beneficial
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apply
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for business
owner
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owners
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, but it is
also
for consumers because they
do not
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cannot
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afford
for
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apply
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some items which
values
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valued
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more than their prices.
To conclude
, these days there is a substantial demand for
parchasing
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purchasing
goods on the
internet
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Internet
show examples
. From my point of view, the advantages of
this
matter far overpower its disadvantages since both
costumers
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customers
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and
seller
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sellers
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can take advantage of shopping online, namely
enjoing
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enjoying
the convenience and reasonable prices,
while
it may
some
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have some
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drawbacks which are not considered in comparison with its
benfits
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benefits
such
as lacking
of
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apply
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saving time and being a victim of a scam or fraud.
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt and presents an argument that the benefits of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages. However, the response could be more complete by providing further specific examples to support the claims.
task achievement
While the ideas are generally clear, some sentences lack clarity due to minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Work on sentence structure to ensure your ideas are communicated more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is evident, and the essay is structured with an introduction and conclusion. However, the main points need clearer support and connection throughout the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic effectively and outlines your argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
You concluded with a summary of your main points, reinforcing your argument that the benefits are greater.
task achievement
You recognized several pros and cons of online shopping, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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