Some people think that all law breakers should be put into prison while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of people have stated that individuals who
breaks
Change the verb form
break
show examples
the law
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
obligated to serve time in
prison
, and others state that there are other ways to deal with them. I believe that
law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
show examples
belong in
prison
and in
this
essay, I will discuss the aforementioned views. People who commit crimes are obligated to be put in
prison
in most countries, and the results of it are very evident,
such
as individuals who served their time, most of them never commit
anymore
Replace the word
any more
show examples
crimes.
Furthermore
, most prisoners are disciplined and treated differently so that they can think about what they have done and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
consequences.
In addition
, most crimes that the
indiviaduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
commit who go to
prison
have an astronomically long jail time. Because of the severe punishment that
law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
show examples
have to go through in
prison
, most of them
exits
Correct subject-verb agreement
exit
show examples
with a different mindset, unlike the alternatives
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task achievement
Try to expand more on why people oppose imprisonment as the only solution. This will make for a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your argument for prison as a deterrent.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to smoothly transition between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a clear conclusion to summarize and reinforce your position at the end of the essay.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic clearly and presents a position on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Some logical progression of ideas is evident, which helps maintain a certain flow in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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