Children can learn effectively by watching television . Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regulartly at hom ean dat school. To what exten ddo you agree or disagree?

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Waching
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Tv
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TV
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as an impressive route for
children
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in order to learn should be considered, which is admitted by some, including me.
While
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the opponents believe that its demerits conquer in many aspects.
However
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, both the profits and the dire consequences are negotiated here. Providing appropriate
TV
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programs for
children
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by experts in one of the most highlighted radices that
children
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shoud
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should
be encouraged to pursue
TV
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shows that have
amed
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named
their ages, which not only assist them to learn some personal
etiquets
Correct your spelling
etiquettes
etiquette
but
also
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it is possible to fix some problems that they used to be encountered in different aspects. To illustrate, if they did not know how they should make
connection
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connections
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with others, now it
i
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I
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s feasible for them to learn it by being the audience of some
children
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's programs.
Furthermore
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,
TV
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can help them to find their interest and their potential in order to pursue them to enhance the probability of their flourishing. To make it more clear, they may understand some special issues better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others and owing to that they would be attracted to those special subjects more than the others, which is known as their talent.
On the other hand
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, some claim that it is possible to sacrifice the
children
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if they follow some movies that are not proper for their ages,
whereas
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it can be controlled
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
by the professional channels that are produced for
children
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with special ages.
Besides
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that addiction to watching
TV
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is another reason that some argue that
children
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should not watch
TV
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. Indeed it as well can
be
Rephrase
also be
show examples
addressed by scheduling their times and considering some other attractive hobbies,like sports and hanging out, in their schedule. In conclusion,
While
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some are of the notion that
children
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should not be encouraged to watch
TV
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,in my point of view, its benefits,
such
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as learning necessary issues
as well as
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fixing their behaviours outweigh
in
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it in
show examples
many
dimentions
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dimensions
.
Submitted by drpnima on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify and organize your ideas more distinctly in separate paragraphs for better logical flow.
Task Achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Task Achievement
Proofread your work to correct small language inaccuracies and improve sentence structure.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints, providing a balanced perspective which strengthens task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are effectively included, enhancing the structure of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear progression of ideas across paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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