IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
who are most care
environment
Use synonyms
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 both inhabitants and administration have distinct roles to play in
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 protection.
Body paragraph 1
There are three key reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 have more chances to help
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition.
Firstly
Linking Words
 and foremost
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 they should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
clean up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places like lakes,
oceans
Correct word choice
and oceans
show examples
 .
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example,in the world
such
Linking Words
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
 like Africa
havea
Correct your spelling
have a
have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
show examples
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 the green zones are
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
plant more trees to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of green places.
Finally
Linking Words
, the problems
connect
Change the form of the verb
connected
show examples
 with transportation.
Body paragraph 2
Such
Linking Words
 as ,if
people
Use synonyms
 use
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
minimumm
Correct your spelling
minimum
 as soon as possible the atmosphere
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 being more disinfected,
besides
Linking Words
 ,more
freshly
Change the word
fresh
show examples
 and cleaner.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
 ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 as well governments have opportunities to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good form.
Body paragraph 4
First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 they have a chance to
fineng
Correct your spelling
find
when
people
Use synonyms
poisoned
Wrong verb form
poison
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.If
people
Use synonyms
 drop out rubbish after
trip
Add an article
a trip
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the governments should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
give them
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
.Perhaps, another thing the administration
banning
Wrong verb form
banned
show examples
 is hunting animals like fishes who are very open .It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to
decreasing
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 the proportion of
disappear
Change the verb form
disappearing
show examples
 animals.
Conclusion
In conclusion,the governments and the
people
Use synonyms
 have
save
Wrong verb form
saved
show examples
 chances to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 and day by day becoming better

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss and provides a clear thesis statement. Consider stating explicitly what your personal opinion is in the introduction and link it effectively to your body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each paragraph should clearly relate to the question, be logically ordered and include clear topic sentences. Use linking words appropriately to maintain a coherent flow of ideas. Consider using words and phrases such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Finally'.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay should include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion. Ensure it's clear and aligned with your discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints as required by the task.
Task Achievement
You attempt to justify points with examples and reasons.
Task Achievement
You've made a solid attempt to discuss both individual and governmental roles in environmental protection.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay shows a concern for logical development of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
You display an awareness of lexical resource with phrases like 'disinfected atmosphere'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: