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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the United States by country of origin. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the United States by country of origin. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The chart above provides information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of international
students
Use synonyms
 from different countries
such
Linking Words
 as India,China,The
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
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 that joined Universities in The
USA
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 and
Canada
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,the rate of
students
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 from other
origines
Correct your spelling
origins
 studying in
Canada
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation
Add an article
a fluctuation
show examples
 in comparison to international
students
Use synonyms
 in
U.S.Moreovere
Correct your spelling
the U.S. Moreover
,the table indicates that
although
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
's rate was increasing, the
number
Use synonyms
 of international
students
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 in The
USA
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 was higher
thann
Correct your spelling
than
than in
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in canada
show examples
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Initially
Linking Words
, the total
number
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 of
students
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 who
joind
Correct your spelling
joined
join
Canadian
Correct article usage
the Canadian
show examples
 education system was 59,870 in 2002.In 2003 there was a significant increase in Chinese and Indian
students
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 studying in
Canada
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.
Linking Words
at
Capitalize word
At
show examples
 the end of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the total
number
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 became 70,004 which shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 growth of 17%
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2002.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,The
USA
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 started at 581,600 in total in 2002 and continued with
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 rise in some nations except for
students
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 from India which experienced -
9
Correct article usage
a 9
show examples
% decrease
therefore
Linking Words
 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of pupils attending U.S schools in 2003 was 592,230 which depicts about 2%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, usa, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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