IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates the data of mean weekly spend of income by families in one country for years 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of housing, transport and leisure increased in the timeframe.
However
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of food, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 and personal
goods
Use synonyms
 decreased in the trajectory.
Also
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of household
goods
Use synonyms
 did not change at the same time. The
share
Use synonyms
 of housing was about 10
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1968 and it raised to 18
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the transport was 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1968 and raised to 18
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2018.
Also
Linking Words
, leisure was nearly 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1968 and raised to approximately 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of household
goods
Use synonyms
 did not change and it remains at almost 7
percent
Use synonyms
. The
share
Use synonyms
 of food was 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1968 and decreased to more or less 17
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2018. Fuel and power were 10
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1968 and decreased to nearly 4
percent
Use synonyms
. Clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 was 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1968 and it decreased to 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Personal
goods
Use synonyms
 were approximately 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it decreased to nearly 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words share, goods, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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