Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Some
individuals
hold the view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
study, because
education
will assist to become useful for
society
.
while
others suggest
that is
the way to reach their own ambitions. Personally, I strongly believe a balanced approach might be ideal where
education
equips them with skills beneficial to
society
while
also
encouraging them to personal goals. Looking
firstly
at one side of
this
statement, schooling is an essential way for
individuals
from childhood to be utilitarian for
society
.
Education
equips
people
with the skills
society
needs.
For example
, occupations like doctors, engineers, and teachers. If
society
does not have enough jobs which safely can foster economic development,
then
statistics of the country may decrease
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
others.
Furthermore
, educating
people
can help address collective challenges. Clever
people
which educated from the opportunities by school can create new jobs. And it's a job for
people
who don't have the opportunity to work in degree jobs. In terms of the other side of the coin,
education
should help
individuals
grow and create their own personal fulfilment.
Education
that supports individual ambitions allows
people
to pursue careers they are passionate about, leading to greater personal satisfaction. It may
also
increase the degree of creativity.
For example
, when
people
are encouraged to follow their dreams, it can lead to innovations and breakthroughs, as they are more motivated to solve problems creatively.
To conclude
, It is ideal to have a balanced approach.
This
would not only ensure societal progress but
also
foster motivated, well-rounded
individuals
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on building a more logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to improve the internal cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive and relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main topic and provide a balanced view, which is a strong point of your essay.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive task response.

Word Count

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Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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