Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions

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In the modern world, some

people

Use synonyms

think that

education

Use synonyms

has to support to become a part of society,

while

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

contemplate that it should focus on helping

individuals

Use synonyms

goals and ambitions. In my opinion, both view have their merits. On the one hand,

education

Use synonyms

can provide

individuals

Use synonyms

to attend to society by teaching them with the skills and knowledge that are

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

for different types of jobs,

such

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as medicine, teaching or engineering. By the way,

this

Linking Words

improves understanding of their rules and responsibilities

as well as

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

can create productivity. Admittedly, by focusing on practical skills,moral values and social awareness,

education

Use synonyms

can produce responsible citizens.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

education

Use synonyms

should primarily help

individuals

Use synonyms

to achieve their goals and ambitions.

This

Linking Words

opinion

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

and explore

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

talents, passions and personal instincts.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can create their own future kingdom with the support of

education

Use synonyms

. In turn,

individuals

Use synonyms

can motivate and improve their personal satisfaction by the influence of

education

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. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

education

Use synonyms

has to create citizens who are more responsible and productive ,

therefore

Linking Words

, others think that it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to influence

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

future and their goals

as well as

Linking Words

ambitions.

Submitted by Writing9 on Wed Oct 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, containing an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, work on enhancing your use of linking phrases to make the connections between ideas even clearer, such as adding more transitional phrases like 'on the other hand', 'moreover', and 'furthermore.'

task achievement

Your response addresses both views as required, but consider incorporating more specific examples and details that demonstrate a deeper exploration of each perspective. This will strengthen your argument and show a thorough analysis of the topic.

task achievement

Ensure clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. You have a good foundation, but working on clearer sentence construction and avoiding minor inaccuracies will improve comprehension. For example, use 'admittedly' correctly in sentences to enhance meaning.

task achievement

The essay clearly addresses both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced consideration, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument systematically.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and provides your overall opinion, neatly tying the essay together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

201 words

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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?