IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #peers #peer #pressure
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In the modern busy life, it is believed by many individuals that younger are pressured by
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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peers
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.
This
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 statement has both its own
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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. Looking
firstly
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 at one of
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this statement
Fix the agreement mistake
these statements
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, if we look at the
advantages
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 that are both obvious and evident. From
on
Correct your spelling
an
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overall
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 perspective,
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 main benefit of young people
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 pressured
of
Change preposition
by
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peers
Use synonyms
 Is that young people can take an important motivation
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 pressuring by their
peers
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.
Hence
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, it is vividly apparent
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why many people approve
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this
Change preposition
of this
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 trend.
On the other hand
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, if we consider the
disadvantages
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, they can be both predictable and unpredictable. A common pitfall of younger are influenced by their
peers
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can
be cause
Change the verb form
cause
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 distrust or
leading
Replace the word
lead
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 to reduce
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 conversation. But the
advantages
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 are much more than
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disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. As a conclusion point, as I mentioned above, I can safely say that the
advantages
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 of
this
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 perspective are far greater than the
disadvantages
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.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task response
To enhance the task response, aim to provide relevant and specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. Examples help to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth and logical. This helps the reader to follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion effectively.
task response
You have attempted to address both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure, which provides a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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