IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like and say what experience and skills you have

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to secure a part-time
job
 through your employment agency. My name is Pramod, and I am studying a management course online.
This
 flexible schedule allows me to take on a part-time
job
. As I am studying management, taking a customer-facing role not only equips me with hands-on experience but
also
 teaches me
to
Rephrase
how to
show examples
 handle people.
Additionally
, I am open to different types of
job
 positions
such
 as salesperson, cashier, or marketing agent.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I have very limited knowledge about advertising, I am open to working in
this
 field to learn more. I have 6 months of experience working as a salesman at a sales company, selling a variety of kitchen equipment.
Moreover
, I do have some marketing experience as I was helping the marketing team to prepare a marketing speech for the same company.
Also
, I have excellent communication skills, allowing me to sell products. Thank you for your time and hoping to find a suitable
job
. Yours sincerely, Pramod
Submitted by Darshita@8612 on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples or details about the type of job you are looking for to strengthen the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to explicitly connect your skills and experience to the desired job roles to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The letter contains a clear introduction, body, and closing, demonstrating excellent structure.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and professional, which is suitable for a job application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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