IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free for people who use it. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#transport #government #people #disagree？
Some
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Add a verb
government is
government was
show examples
 responsible for the
avability
Correct your spelling
availability
 of public transport. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain two reasons why I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement. On the one hand, free public
transports
 have many advantages for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society so the government should allocate their budget to it.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 benefit of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 is that it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to reduce traffic in important parts of the city.
As a result
, it would reduce the time needed to travel from one place to another and it could help
people
 to allocate their time better.
Secondly
, electric trains could decrease the carbon footprint
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to better air and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
And
Correct word choice
Lastly
show examples
lastly
, by using free buses or trains,
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not need to spend their money to buy a car or motorcycle so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 spend it
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
another matters
Replace the adjective
another matter
other matters
show examples
.
Thus
, it is important for the authority to make free public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 as it could raise
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 willingness to use it.
On the other hand
, mass
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 built by a private
company
 might lead to a big problem. The lack of regulation will leave the
company
 to set the price as they please without the
consequense
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 of giving sufficient security and good facility.
For example
, once in my hometown in Indonesia, there was a public transport operated by
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
company
 called 'Angkot', a modified car enough for 10 to 12 passengers and
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
show examples
 short trips. It has
pricing
Correct article usage
a pricing
show examples
 problem that keeps on
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
.
Besides
, there are no serious
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to solve its
thieves
Change noun form
thief's
thieves'
show examples
 problem as the
company
 and the authority didn't care much.
To sum up
, public transportations have economic and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 benefits for society. It
is
Change the verb form
also needs
show examples
also
 need full support from the regulator as being controlled by private sectors is not favourable.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction
Work on developing a more engaging and elaborate introduction to capture the reader's interest.
examples
Provide more detailed and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments further.
language usage
Ensure consistent use of verb forms and subject-verb agreement, such as "people does not" which should be "people do not."
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments.
structure
The body paragraphs are logically structured and each supports a clear main idea.
content
You have done well to address both sides of the argument, acknowledging potential issues with privately funded transport.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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