IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The three pie charts below shows the chnages in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

The three pie charts below shows the chnages in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.
#three #chnages #uk #school
The charts represent the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of UK
schools
' spending in several sectors in three
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
 starting from 1981 to 2001. In 1981,
schools
 spent 40% of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
teachers
'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
,
this
 was the highest spending in 1981, followed by workers'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 28%. They only spent 15% on books, furniture, and equipment.
Schools
 only spent 2%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
insurace
Correct your spelling
insurance
, which was the lowest spending among other sectors. A decade later, half of the
schools
' spending was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
teachers
'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, yet, they decreased workers'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to 22%. The percentage of spending on books increased to 20%. On the other side, the spending on furniture and equipment had declined by 10%. The
schools
 increased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 spending on insurance by 1%.
However
, in 2001, the proportion of
teachers
'
salary
 had decreased by 5% and workers'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 by 7%. Spending on resources had declined by 11%.
Nonetheless
, spending on furniture and equipment had drastically increased to 23%. There was a slight
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 insurance, which had a rate
8
Change preposition
of 8
show examples
%.
To sum up
, there
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been some changes in
schools
Change noun form
schools'
school's
show examples
 annual spending.
Nevertheless
, most spending was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
teachers
'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and they had the least spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 insurance.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, teachers, salary with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: