Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?
It is true that nowadays young people experience more stress in schools and society and from commercials.
This
essay will discuss the major causes of pressurs
that Correct your spelling
pressures
pressure
childrens
have, including Correct your spelling
children
they study
in Wrong verb form
studying
competative
environments, Correct your spelling
competitive
compare
Wrong verb form
comparing
htemselves
with others and they see Correct your spelling
themselves
deaily advertisments
that Correct your spelling
daily advertisements
encorage
them to buy new products. Correct your spelling
encourage
This
essay will also
suggest solutions to these problems such
as schools focus
on real Wrong verb form
focusing
underestanding
Correct your spelling
understanding
instead
of just acheave
high Correct your spelling
achieve
scors
, Correct your spelling
scores
score
notice
that comparing with others Wrong verb form
noticing
lead
to stress and Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should take Correct your spelling
government
movement
actions
regarding Fix the agreement mistake
action
to limit
advertisements that Change the verb form
limiting
aims
Change the verb form
aim
children
.
In todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
life
most Add a comma
life,
of
Change preposition
apply
children
try to be more successful in academic areas. They need to get high band scores because it influence
their future to Change the verb form
influences
be accept
in a good Change the verb form
be accepted
univercity
. Correct your spelling
university
For
example
Stanford Add a comma
example,
enterance
exam has 80% of Correct your spelling
entrance
total
score and 20% would be the high school results. Another problem is that people Add an article
the total
in
social media share their top moments and they rarely post sad memories. Change preposition
on
For
example
instance people in
Instagram mostly post their meals at expensive restaurants. Change preposition
on
Advertising
industry Correct article usage
The advertising
due to
earn more benefits fond it easy to work on childres
Correct your spelling
children
mind
. so they focus Fix the agreement mistake
minds
to create
commercial video clips to influence Change preposition
on creating
childrens
. Correct your spelling
children
children's
For
example
we can see that Add a comma
example,
xiaomi
produces mobiles named "Yungi".
To Change the capitalization
Xiaomi
adress
these issues schools should use schemes that encourage Correct your spelling
address
student
to get deep Fix the agreement mistake
students
in
lessonsChange preposition
into
,
because Remove the comma
apply
this
method help
them to get a better job. Change the verb form
helps
For
example
in engeeniring
Correct your spelling
engineering
filds
companies hire Correct your spelling
fields
peple
with Correct your spelling
people
prctical
Correct your spelling
physical
experiences
not good grades in academic fields. To Fix the agreement mistake
experience
avoide
immense comparison with other Correct your spelling
avoid
childres
we need Correct your spelling
children
that families
Change the determiner
that family
those families
teach
Add the particle
to teach
this
from childhood to children
so the
don't have Correct your spelling
they
such
challenges in adulthood. Government
should implement policies that limit Correct article usage
The government
advertisments
that aim Correct your spelling
advertisements
children
just to earn money and don't have some benefits for themselves.
In Change preposition
for children
conclusion
in Add a comma
conclusion,
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
life
our Add a comma
life,
chidren
have a lot of pressures from Correct your spelling
children
varios
sources. Correct your spelling
various
This
essay discussed some couses
of these Correct your spelling
causes
courses
pressurs
and Correct your spelling
pressures
also
suggest
their solutions .Wrong verb form
suggested
Submitted by jingelbing on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, focus on clearly organizing the main points and ensuring that they are supported by relevant examples. Additionally, make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the question, providing a balanced discussion of both causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively outlines the main points you intend to discuss in your essay, which provides a clear roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
You have identified some relevant causes and potential solutions to the pressures faced by children, showing your understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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