Some think most crime is the result of circumstances, e.g., poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #crime #circumstances #e #g #poverty #people #nature

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A few

people

believe that atmospheres cause greatly the commitments of crime

such

as poverty and social issues,

while

other

people

are of the opinion that most crime is committed by evil

people

. In my view,

people

generally do not tend to break the rules, unless officials provide

such

a poor social life like Syria and Lebanon. On the one hand, the amount of poverty and unemployment have been skyrocketing significantly, particularly in Asian lands, e.g.,

Afganistan

Correct your spelling

Afghanistan

, because the governments corrupt and dictate too much,

therefore

humans are exposed to starve or revolt against the authorities at times.

Furthermore

, human kinds are more prone to be burglars and arrange tiny groups (supplied with guns) so that they can sustain their lives by stealing other's wealth.

On the other hand

, today, upbringing methods have been extremely switched

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

over decades, parents do not care about offspring,

occasionally

Correct word choice

and occasionally

show examples

, leave them at the garbages.

Thus

, children are brought up in the streets and undoubtedly, street guys are into breaking the laws, the main reason why they offend is their characteristics, they have grown up on their own,

Correct word choice

and no

show examples

one

taught

Add a missing verb

is taught

show examples

how to behave generally. Personally, in

Europe

Add a comma

Europe,

show examples

the ratio of illegal actions is under 15 per cent

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because authorities supply

human-beings

Correct your spelling

human beings

show examples

by fine vocation with a high wage, allowance for children and good life quality.

This

is why, Western countries'

people

are so calming, peaceful and glad compared to

Middle

Correct article usage

the Middle

show examples

Eastern population. In conclusion, Some argue that environments are the main reason for breaking the rules like circulation problems and destitution,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

wicked humans generally are likely to commit

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

, believed by other

people

. In my opinion,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

do not attempt to go against the law, if officials give

people

comfortable

Correct article usage

a comfortable

show examples

life with good qualifications.

Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on Thu Oct 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical flow by structuring paragraphs with distinct main ideas and supporting details. Some sections of the essay could be more coherent in linking sentences logically.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, ensuring they are directly relevant to the argument. This helps strengthen the response by illustrating the argument.

task achievement

The essay effectively discusses both views on the topic and provides a clear personal opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion and provides closure to the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. I completely disagree with the that classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analysing the incapability of disciplining classroom students with technology, as well as the limitation in the learning process of students taught with technology will prove this.
5.5
band
Some people believe that it is better to raise children in the countryside, while others think that cities offer more opportunities for a child’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People are calling into question the effect of environment on children's growth. Some individuals believe that rural areas are more appropriate to raise kids, while others assert that living in a city provides a better environment to grow children. Both sides of the argument present rational justifications that will be elaborated.
8
band
As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. In your opinion, what are the causes and what are the effects on both individuals and society as a whole.
In the modern era, since nuclear families are becoming more popular, individuals do not prefer to live with their elders. Living alone has also become a trend in the young generation. In this essay, I will justify the causes and effects on both people and the community in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion.
5.5
band
In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
In the present day, during the process of urbanization, living in rural areas is decreasing, leading to fewer people in the suburbs.
7
band
Nuclear power is used both for weapons of mass destruction and the production of cheap, clean energy. Do the advantages of nuclear power outweigh the disadvantages?
In the era of globalization, new sources of energy have been discovered. One of these sources is Nuclear power. Nowadays, it is utilized in the military industry, however, we can generate priceless and spotless energy. In this essay, I will elaborate on both the pros and cons and if the benefits overshadow the hazards.

Some think most crime is the result of circumstances, e.g., poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to raise children in the countryside, while others think that cities offer more opportunities for a child’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. In your opinion, what are the causes and what are the effects on both individuals and society as a whole.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Nuclear power is used both for weapons of mass destruction and the production of cheap, clean energy. Do the advantages of nuclear power outweigh the disadvantages?