Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to leam this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that children should learn about
manners
from their family,
however
, some people argue that they can learn it in
school
.
This
essay will discuss these perspectives.
To begin
with, young age can learn about
manners
earlier through their
parents
because family is the smallest organization that they have from the beginning of our lives. It is because
parents
can be role models by giving examples of basic
manners
such
as respecting elders because kids are prone to imitate what they see. As a
reasult
Correct your spelling
result
, they can be more used with good
manners
and make it a habit owing to taught earlier. When eating,
for example
, a child
that is
growing up seeing their
parents
eat in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
manners
will not
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
with the food and not
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
while
eating because they see their
parents
are
behave
Wrong verb form
behaving
show examples
.
Therefore
, it will increase their awareness about their acts and make them behave.
Moreover
, a
school
give them opportunities to learn about
manners
in society. Because it is an institution, they will meet many friends that reflect the society and
as a result
, they will learn about good
manners
in a community.
For instance
, they will meet senior students and teachers in
school
where they can learn about respecting older people namely lowering their voice
while
talking to them and talking to them with appropriate words. It can be learned only by including in communities,
hence
,
school
is a perfect place to obtain it.
To conclude
, family and
school
are essential to
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
about good
manners
because
parents
can be role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
for them to behave and
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
provides opportunities to learn good
manners
in a community. As for that, I personally think both have their parts respectively and it is paramount to teach them in those places.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects it to the overall theme.
task achievement
Strengthen task achievement by providing more specific examples and elaborating on them to fully support your arguments.
task achievement
Elaborate on the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay to make it more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay discusses both perspectives clearly, showing an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide examples, such as the behavior of parents during meals and interactions in school, enhancing understanding.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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