Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society ,while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions

Many people reckon that the aim of

education

should

Add a missing verb

be to

show examples

be prepared to contribute usefully

for

Change preposition

show examples

society

However

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However,

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others are more

drown

Correct your spelling

drawn

show examples

to the idea of achieving their aims and ambitions,

while

both decisions have equally plausible valid

merist

Correct your spelling

merit

merits

I personally believe it proves better for achieve personal ambition rather than contribute the

society

. Admittedly, There are a number of

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

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why the main purpose of

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

should

Add a missing verb

be to

show examples

be prepared to contribute the

society

. First and foremost,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

all of the countries on the planet provide

fee

Correct your spelling

free

show examples

education

to their students so that they contribute

effeciently

Correct your spelling

efficiently

society

when they grow up.

For instance

, all students,

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show examples

least primary and secondary

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

can access without fee. The

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

is hoping that they

are repay

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are repaying

show examples

their contribution to their societies.

This

as a result

, leads to contribute to

society

effeciently

Correct your spelling

efficiently

in the future. On top of that building social harmony might be the chef reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

point. The more

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

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skills are beneficial, the more they build communication skills

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

This

, in effect,

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

education

Change preposition

to education

show examples

for

society

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society's

show examples

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

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. As much as l acknowledge the points above l

tent

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tend

show examples

to reckon the

chef

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chef's

show examples

purpose of

education

may be

achivening

Correct your spelling

achieving

their ambitions. One of these is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

fostering

independance

Correct your spelling

independence

Education

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

purposes and

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourages

to set and achieve their goals but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

built

Wrong verb form

builds

show examples

confidence.

This

hence

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourages

students to set a goal.

Moreover

, achieving their goals can create an excellent way to job

career

Correct article usage

a career

show examples

in the future .

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have confidence and much experience after that.

This

can lead to

appreciative

Replace the word

appreciation

show examples

Change preposition

of the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

for

Change preposition

show examples

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their goals. In conclusion,

while

some individuals are in favour of helping societies in the future, l am of the opinion it is worse than the

secont

Correct your spelling

second

point since the more it

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourage

encourages

set

Wrong verb form

setting

show examples

and

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

personal ambition, the more they

built

Wrong verb form

build

show examples

confidence and

independance

Correct your spelling

independence

Submitted by Writing9 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

Add specific examples to strengthen your points. Consider providing real-world examples or statistics to back up your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure clarity in sentence structure. Some sentences may be difficult to understand due to phrasing or grammatical errors. Try to simplify complex sentences to improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay should maintain a more formal and neutral tone. Avoid informal expressions or slang to maintain an academic style.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking ideas with transition words to make the essay flow more naturally. Transitions such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'However,' can help connect ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Aim to keep a balanced argument throughout the essay, ensuring both sides of the issue are equally discussed before stating your opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure to the response.

task achievement

There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, showcasing understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society ,while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Due to globalization, people all over the world are now able to buy the same products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries today, the number of plants and animals are declining. •Why is it happening? •What can be done to solve this situation?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.