Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society ,while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Many people reckon that the aim of
education
should to
be prepared to contribute usefully Add a missing verb
be to
for
Change preposition
to
society
. However
others are more Add a comma
However,
drown
to the idea of achieving their aims and ambitions, Correct your spelling
drawn
while
both decisions have equally plausible valid merist
I personally believe it proves better for achieve personal ambition rather than contribute the Correct your spelling
merit
merits
society
.
Admittedly, There are a number of reason
why the main purpose of Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
studing
should Correct your spelling
studying
to
be prepared to contribute the Add a missing verb
be to
society
. First and foremost, as
all of the countries on the planet provideCorrect word choice
apply
fee
Correct your spelling
free
education
to their students so that they contribute effeciently
to Correct your spelling
efficiently
society
when they grow up. For instance
, all students, as
least primary and secondary Change preposition
at
and
can access without fee. The Correct word choice
apply
goverment
is hoping that they Correct your spelling
government
are repay
their contribution to their societies. Change the verb form
are repaying
This
, as a result
, leads to contribute to society
effeciently
in the future. On top of that building social harmony might be the chef reason Correct your spelling
efficiently
to
Change preposition
for
this
point. The more problem solving
skills are beneficial, the more they build communication skills Add a hyphen
problem-solving
easly
. Correct your spelling
easily
This
, in effect, contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
education
for Change preposition
to education
society
Change noun form
society's
benefits
.
As much as l acknowledge the points above l Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
tent
to reckon the Correct your spelling
tend
chef
purpose of Change noun form
chef's
education
may be achivening
their ambitions. One of these is Correct your spelling
achieving
that
fostering Correct word choice
apply
independance
. Correct your spelling
independence
Education
is
not only Unnecessary verb
apply
support
purposes and Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
encouage
to set and achieve their goals but Correct your spelling
encourages
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
built
confidence. Wrong verb form
builds
This
, hence
, encouage
students to set a goal. Correct your spelling
encourages
Moreover
, achieving their goals can create an excellent way to job career
in the future . Correct article usage
a career
This
is because,
they have confidence and much experience after that. Remove the comma
apply
This
can lead to appreciative
Replace the word
appreciation
Change preposition
of the
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
for
Change preposition
to
fulfill
their goals.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
fulfil
while
some individuals are in favour of helping societies in the future, l am of the opinion it is worse than the secont
point since the more it Correct your spelling
second
encouage
Correct your spelling
encourage
encourages
set
and Wrong verb form
setting
achieve
personal ambition, the more they Wrong verb form
achieving
built
confidence and Wrong verb form
build
independance
.Correct your spelling
independence
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task achievement
Add specific examples to strengthen your points. Consider providing real-world examples or statistics to back up your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in sentence structure. Some sentences may be difficult to understand due to phrasing or grammatical errors. Try to simplify complex sentences to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay should maintain a more formal and neutral tone. Avoid informal expressions or slang to maintain an academic style.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas with transition words to make the essay flow more naturally. Transitions such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'However,' can help connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Aim to keep a balanced argument throughout the essay, ensuring both sides of the issue are equally discussed before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure to the response.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, showcasing understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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