Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping to individual to become useful for society while others believe it should be help individuals to achieve their ambitions . Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions

Many people reckon that the aim of

education

should be prepared to contribute usefully to

society

However

, others are more drawn to the idea of achieving their aims and ambitions,

while

both decisions have equally plausible valid merits I personally believe it proves better for

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

personal ambition rather than

contribute

Wrong verb form

contributing

show examples

the

society

. Admittedly, There are a number of reasons why the main purpose of studying should be prepared to contribute the

society

. First and foremost,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

all of the countries on the planet provide

fee

Correct your spelling

free

show examples

education

to their students so that they contribute

effeciently

Correct your spelling

efficiently

society

when they grow up.

For instance

, all students, at least primary and secondary can access without fee. The government is hoping that they are repaying their contribution to their societies.

This

as a result

, leads to contribute to

society

effeciently

Correct your spelling

efficiently

in the future. On top of that building social harmony might be the chef's reason to

this

point. The more problem-solving skills are beneficial, the more they build communication skills easily.

This

, in effect, contributes to

education

for

society

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

. As much as l acknowledge the points above l

tent

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

to reckon the

chef

Change noun form

chef's

show examples

purpose of

education

may be achieving their ambitions. One of these is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

fostering independence.

Education

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not only

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

purposes and

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourages

setting

Replace the word

set

show examples

and

achieving

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

their goals but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

built

Wrong verb form

builds

show examples

confidence.

This

hence

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourages

students to set a goal.

Moreover

, achieving their goals can create an excellent way to job

career

Correct article usage

a career

show examples

in the future .

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have confidence and much experience after that.

This

can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

appreciate

Change the verb form

appreciating

show examples

the

education

for

Change preposition

show examples

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their goals. In conclusion,

while

some individuals are in favour of helping societies in the future, l am of the opinion it is worse than the second point since the more it

encouage

Correct your spelling

encourage

encourages

setting and achieving personal ambition, the more they build confidence and independence.

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coherence correction

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you might benefit from organizing your ideas more logically. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows naturally to the next point.

task correction

To improve your task achievement, ensure your arguments are fully developed with relevant evidence. Use specific examples to support your points and add depth to your discussion.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument, addressing the task's requirements.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets a clear context for your discussion by presenting both perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping to individual to become useful for society while others believe it should be help individuals to achieve their ambitions . Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, it is illegal for componies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.