Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop childrens’ life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain groups of people are of the opinion that, if youngsters spent leisure
time
on
sports
activity has better life skills than hours spent reading.
However
, I agree with the statement and in the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
I shall explain my reasons for
this
belief. Many parents
encougage
Correct your spelling
encourage
their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
' to play
outsibe
Correct your spelling
outside
sports
. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
, individuals participating in activities like Football, Basketball and Cricket help them stay fit.
Moreover
, by playing in
playground
Add an article
the playground
a playground
show examples
, there are minute chances of getting
health
issues like Asthma or
obessity
Correct your spelling
obesity
.
For example
,
juvenile
Add an article
a juvenile
the juvenile
show examples
who do not play in
playground
Add an article
the playground
show examples
and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their hours of
time
reading, most likely to grasp
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
problems.
In addition
, playing different
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
of
sports
daily basis
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cognitive development. On the
contarary
Correct your spelling
contrary
,
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
who
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their leisure
time
reading different books have a brilliant mind and high
IQ
Fix the agreement mistake
IQs
show examples
. Many
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
all their
time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
grades and
performence
Correct your spelling
performance
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
not aware of the fact that
health
is equally important.
Heathy
Correct article usage
A heathy
show examples
body is a
tresure
Correct your spelling
treasure
for living beings, once someone
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
loosing
their
health
, they start
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
their
tresure
Correct your spelling
treasure
.
Moreover
, parents should take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
to promote outdoor activity in their daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. Schools should give some extra
time
for
sports
activity.
Additionally
, Universities can set a limit on
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
for each week which will allow
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
to have
time
for their
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
To conclude
, individuals who
are participating
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
in
sports
have minute chances of
health
issues and cognitive development.
whereas
, students spending hours of their
time
on books have great
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
performance but have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
risk of
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
like obesity.
Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on

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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that all parts of the task are addressed more comprehensively. Try to elaborate further on both sides of the argument to exhibit a balanced view before reaching your conclusion.
task response
Work on providing more specific examples that reinforce your main points. This will help to exemplify your ideas more clearly for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. It will make your essay easier to follow and more logical.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with adequate evidence or examples which add to the richness of your argument and show a depth of understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame and close your argument effectively.
task achievement
You effectively recognize the pros of both playing sports and reading, providing a comparative analysis that shows awareness of various viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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