Some people do not allow their children to participate in games, sports or competitions unless everyone gets a prize. Others think that games, sports or competitions Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge.

#people #children #games #sports #competitions #prize

I agree that

children

need to learn how to face winning and losing during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

sports

competitions

although

there is no prize.

First,

winning and losing are

arounding

Correct your spelling

around

our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. We can't avoid them.In our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, we must get different

ending

Fix the agreement mistake

endings

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

one thing.

Except

Add the preposition

Except for

show examples

games

sports

competitions

, we have

exam

Fix the agreement mistake

exams

show examples

interview

Fix the agreement mistake

interviews

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

school and work.Those

children

will not

experience

Correct pronoun usage

experience it

show examples

. They may get

lose

Wrong verb form

lost

show examples

and how they can face it. They may easy to

givr

Correct your spelling

give

up their life.

Games

sports

competitions

can let them try the feeling of losing and learn how to face it. Teaching them to think losing is a

smell

Correct your spelling

small

show examples

thing, not need to be

too

Replace the word

show examples

worry

Wrong verb form

worried

show examples

, you can keep going by the

children

lost at the

games

sports

competitions

. So it is needed to learn

facing

Change the verb form

to face

show examples

wnning

Correct your spelling

winning

and losing.

Second,

children

can learn a lot of things during

games

sports

competitions

. Some of them need to play or do with teammate(s) or groupmate(s) so

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

need to work together.

Children

can learn teamwork.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

different people have different advantages and disadvantages.

Children

can learn the advantages and change the disadvantages from others like a mirror.

Others

Correct quantifier usage

Other

show examples

children

can make friends and be happy during the

games

sports

competitions

. It

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

their mental health. For

includ

Correct your spelling

example

children

can learn a lot of things during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

sports

competitions

.I agree that

children

must learn to deal with winning and losing in order to be fully prepared

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully responds to all parts of the task. Expand on the idea of why children should or should not receive prizes in competitions and provide clear examples to illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Focus on organizing the essay with clear paragraphs that each have a central idea and support it with relevant examples or explanations. Use linking words to better connect your ideas across sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Revise some sentences for clarity and to avoid ambiguity. Some points could be presented more fluidly to ensure they're easily understood, particularly in your argument about why losing is beneficial.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion that children benefit from learning to face winning and losing, which is well-maintained throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay begins with an engaging introduction that communicates the main viewpoint.

task achievement

You have identified important aspects of competitive play, such as teamwork and mental health benefits, which enhance the essay's depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people do not allow their children to participate in games, sports or competitions unless everyone gets a prize. Others think that games, sports or competitions Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Deforestation is one of the major issues which need to be tackled. Explore the causes and consequences of deforestation. What strategies, according to you, can be used to promote sustainable forestry and reforestation?

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.