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Band 3

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as impossible. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#people #country #food #population #import
A part of localities
believe
Change the verb form
believes
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 that every
states
Change to a singular noun
state
show examples
 should fabricate
its self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 enough
food
 and decrease the rate of importing
other
Change preposition
from other
show examples
countries
. I particularly agree with
this
 statement
owning to
Verb problem
regarding
show examples
 the deficiency of
food
products
. First of all, it is worth considering
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 ensuring
food
 security.
For instance
, when people produce at home, they create a
food
 reserve and
this
 could protect the population from the influence of international markets, which is very important when
countries
depends
Change the verb form
depend
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 on imports,
strengthens
Correct word choice
and strengthens
show examples
 the economy.
Moreover
, as the main reason, the
products
 will be fresh .
Therefore
, when the production is local, humans do not have to wait until the government brought from other
countries
.
This
, the
products
 can
be spoil
Change the verb form
be spoiled
show examples
 on the way.
On the other hand
, the states still need to maintain the balance, because some
food
products
 and various goods are not made in one country. Weighing up both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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, states should produce as
more
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
food
 as possible and import half of them to other
countries
. From my personal perspective, every nation should have enough
food
 and everyone should try some new dishes from other nations.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to clarify your arguments with further details and examples. For instance, explain why ensuring food security is beneficial or how it impacts the country's economy.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Use linking words to guide the reader from one point to the next and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, recognizing the importance of food self-sufficiency while acknowledging the necessity of imports.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting the stage for your argument and summarizing your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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