Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days, people's information about their
health
matters are
more than prior populations, so when they become ill, they Unnecessary verb
apply
surching
Correct your spelling
search
to
find their treatment and drugs Change preposition
for
instead
of go
to Wrong verb form
going
doctor
. In my opinion, Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
this
happening is a negative development owing to the fact
that doctor
have more information and experience for treating Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
instaed
of Correct your spelling
instead
Correct article usage
the publics
publics
and some medicines impact Fix the agreement mistake
public
on
our Change preposition
apply
health
.
On the one hand, doctors
spend their whole time and energy for
learning a range of Change preposition
apply
the
subjects to find Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
problems; addtionally
, Correct your spelling
additionally
doctors
who want to become better pass some course
about one Fix the agreement mistake
courses
organisem
of Correct your spelling
organism
organiser
body
like Add an article
the body
heart
Correct article usage
a heart
doctor
. In addition
, doctors
spend a long time in their resedents
with professional Correct your spelling
residents
doctors
to accept experience; as a result
, they can find illness and treatment really fast.
On the other hand
, Unfortunately
, it is important that the type of medicine that people use Fix capitalization
unfortunately
do
not have Correct subject-verb agreement
does
bad
Add an article
a bad
result
on their Fix the agreement mistake
results
body
; Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
furthermore
, they
methods of using some medicine Correct your spelling
the
is
really crucial owing to the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
fact
that when we use some drages
with each other, they become like Correct your spelling
drugs
poisenes
in our body; in Correct your spelling
poisonous
poisons
fact
, using them like eats poisen
for died. Correct your spelling
poison
Consequently
, we have to go to the doctors
inasmuch as they can find the good medicine that have
Change the verb form
has
less
negative Add an article
a less
effect
and help Fix the agreement mistake
effects
paitient
to become healthy better than communities whose Correct your spelling
patient
patients
filde backgraouns
are other subjects.
Correct your spelling
field backgrounds
To sum up
, In my view, the fact
that is
very essential is that do not using
drugs and find treatment with their experience on account of the Change the verb form
use
fact
that doctor
advise
us Change the verb form
advises
frome
their Correct your spelling
from
knowldege
and Correct your spelling
knowledge
experinces
in Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
health
system.Add an article
the health
a health
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve your vocabulary range to express ideas more precisely and coherently. This will also help in structuring your essay better.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and show a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are clearly focused on one main idea and transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Task Response
You addressed the prompt directly and provided your opinion on the given topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!