The line graph shows the number of people moving from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2025.

#line #people #areas

The given graph illustrates

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

how many

millions

of people moved to cities from

countryside

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the countryside

show examples

in three different countries from

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2000 to 2025. Indonesia shows

gradual

Add an article

a gradual

show examples

increase in the number of population moved to urban areas

while

the increase in Russia and

Iran

is characterized

with

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show examples

some

flactuations

Correct your spelling

fluctuations

fluctuation

over time.

Although

Russia started in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first place with 15

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

in the beginning

year

, it gave its place to

Iran

in 2020

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

at 80

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and Russia ended to be

Change preposition

show examples

second place

Change preposition

with

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

less than

Iran

which had 95 million people moving away from rural areas. 2020 is

also

year

when Indonesian people stopped to migrate within

country

Add an article

the country

a country

show examples

at 30 million even though until

then

there was an increasing trend

goung

Correct your spelling

going

on starting from

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2000 when it was 10 million.

Moreover

althouth

Correct your spelling

although

Indonesians moving from

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

to megapolises was more than

migrating

Correct article usage

the migrating

show examples

Iran

population, they changed places in 2006 at the level of 15

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Fri Nov 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, year, iran with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph shows the number of people moving from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2025.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Some people think that essence of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.