Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions

Many

people

reckon that the aim of schooling should be making

people

helpful

for

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their community;

however

, others are more drawn to the idea

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that it should assist them

to attain

Change preposition

in attaining

show examples

their goals.

While

both the decisions have equally valid merits, I personally believe it proves

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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preferable to educate for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change noun form

society's

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development rather than personal ambitions. Admittedly, there are a number of reasons why education should be given to

people

so that they can realize their dreams. First and foremost, as human beings are educated, they can obtain personal growth. It can,

as a result

, allow them to identify their own potential and carry out it. On top of that, individuals can lead a happy life with high qualifications. They can succeed not merely in their academic career:

they

Correct word choice

but they

show examples

also

enjoy their lives by accomplishing their objectives.

People

should,

hence

, be schooled to achieve their aims. As much as I acknowledge the points above, I tend to believe the government should pay more attention to

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

its citizens to turn them into useful members of the public. One of these is that the more knowledgeable residents there are in the society, the more new ideas arise and the more

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

can, in effect,

thrives

Correct subject-verb agreement

thrive

show examples

Furthermore

, schooling

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

grow

people

as responsible citizens, which can lead to keeping the community disciplined and balanced. In conclusion, some

people

are in favour of providing humans with education to fulfil their ambitions, I am of the opinion that it is better to educate for social services

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apply

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since they can contribute to

foster

Wrong verb form

fostering

show examples

the advancement of their country.

Submitted by Writing9 on Fri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This could strengthen your argument and make it more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure a varied use of cohesive devices to improve flow. While your essay is generally clear, using different connecting words can enhance the readablility.

introduction conclusion present

Clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a well-rounded structure.

task achievement

Clearly presents both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?