Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions

Many

people

reckon that the aim of schooling should be making

people

helpful

for

Change preposition

show examples

their community;

however

, others are more drawn to the idea

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that it should assist them

to attain

Change preposition

in attaining

show examples

their goals.

While

both the decisions have equally valid merits, I personally believe it proves

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable to educate for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

development rather than personal ambitions. Admittedly, there are a number of reasons why education should be given to

people

so that they can realize their dreams. First and foremost, as human beings are educated, they can obtain personal growth. It can,

as a result

, allow them to identify their own potential and carry out it. On top of that, individuals can lead a happy life with high qualifications. They can succeed not merely in their academic career:

they

Correct word choice

but they

show examples

also

enjoy their lives by accomplishing their objectives.

People

should,

hence

, be schooled to achieve their aims. As much as I acknowledge the points above, I tend to believe the government should pay more attention to

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

its citizens to turn them into useful members of the public. One of these is that the more knowledgeable residents there are in the society, the more new ideas arise and the more

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

can, in effect,

thrives

Correct subject-verb agreement

thrive

show examples

Furthermore

, schooling

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

grow

people

as responsible citizens, which can lead to keeping the community disciplined and balanced. In conclusion, some

people

are in favour of providing humans with education to fulfil their ambitions, I am of the opinion that it is better to educate for social services

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they can contribute to

foster

Wrong verb form

fostering

show examples

the advancement of their country.

Submitted by Writing9 on Fri Nov 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This could strengthen your argument and make it more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure a varied use of cohesive devices to improve flow. While your essay is generally clear, using different connecting words can enhance the readablility.

introduction conclusion present

Clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a well-rounded structure.

task achievement

Clearly presents both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
A number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans are superior and entitled to employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including food and research. Discuss both these options and form your own opinion.
Some people think that animals should have the same rights as a community and they mustn’t be exploited by the public, also the amount of society increases every day. Other people are convinced that animals must used by people for various needs like food or research. I believe that it doesn’t have too much value in testing different products on animals. This essay will discuss both points of view.
6.5
band
Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in adddition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Having hired requires both skills pertaining to social lifestyle and better certificates regarding the new employee's level of knowledge along with abilities. Although there are controversial views about the priority of either skills or diplomas, it is not possible to prioritise any of these factors to get a better job in the competitive labour market.
4.5
band
Task 1: The plans below show a school library five years ago and the same library now.
The two maps display a school library and how it has changed from five years ago until now.
5.5
band
In some countries the average weight of people in increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve it?
In some countries, it is noticeable that people are suffering from increasing their average weight and have a low level of fitness. The subsequent paragraphs will explore the reasons why people struggling with the issue of weight increasing and will suggest some measures to tackle this issue effectively.
6.5
band
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
In modern times, owing to national economic growth, there is a belief that a minority of people becoming richer and richer with their high wages could develop countries, while other people think that authorities should restrict the amount of salary they earn. This essay firmly believes that it is beneficial for human civilization to continue this phenomenon due to tax revenue generation and the higher quality of life, despite those who assume that the wealthy gap could be widened.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in adddition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 1: The plans below show a school library five years ago and the same library now.

In some countries the average weight of people in increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.