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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #fuels #energies
Fuel is a significant portion of our daily lives. Some
people
 argue that we must provide a rule to use renewable
energy
 rather than coal and gas. I completely agree with the impact of using fossil fuels in the world.
To begin
 with, the government should protect the environment for another generation by reducing burns in
energy
 factories in countries.
In other words
, a nation must widespread
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness among persons.
For instance
, India had been advertised for caring about nature in the news on television shows, so all categories of
people
 watched it.
Also
, anyone who refused to obey or had been
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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unreliable with resources will
have
Verb problem
be
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 punishment to decrease the amount of steam. After that, companies obtain
much
Correct quantifier usage
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steam from burning gas.
Moreover
, the challenges that phase cities that have global warming. It will cause melting in the
Antertia
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
. China is replacing drive-priced cars with electric vehicles. It gives more tax for those who still remain with petrol cars.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
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the New York Times between 1999 and 2000,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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wrote about the crucial effects of bad resources
such
 as coal that lead to high temperatures.
then
, most
people
 have the ability to fix their use without needing others to tell them, as in Canada,
people
 have solar
energy
 on top of houses in RAX city. They
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 their city with clean
energy
 with a cheap amount of money. In conclusion, some
people
 feel that they should use clean
energy
such
 as wind or water;
however
, many nations stack in using petrol rather than solar
energy
.
Submitted by mlo0oka98 on

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coherence cohesion
To strengthen coherence, organize paragraphs so that each one clearly presents a single idea with supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Incorporate more concrete examples or statistics to bolster your arguments, making your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases like "furthermore," "in addition," and "on the other hand" to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify your argument by explaining how each example specifically relates to the overall point you are making, ensuring that your main points are effectively supported.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic by indicating your stance, which aligns with the essay question.
complete response
You addressed the provided topic well by arguing in favor of taxing companies using fossil fuels, aligning with the task.
logical structure
Each paragraph attempts to address a specific aspect of the argument, providing structure to your response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable
  • renewable resources
  • environmental degradation
  • carbon tax
  • incentivize
  • eco-friendly
  • greenhouse gases
  • sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • alternative energy
  • emissions
  • environmental sustainability
  • subsidies
  • corporate responsibility
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