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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the scores of three different teams in four various
seasons
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 includes the data from 2002 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
Team
Use synonyms
 B got the highest scores in four different
seasons
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest recorded were from
Team
Use synonyms
 A in the first 2
years
Use synonyms
 and
Team
Use synonyms
 C in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 of the study. In detail, in 2002, it was
Team
Use synonyms
 B who got the highest
score
Use synonyms
 of 82
points
Use synonyms
 amongst the remaining teams.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the following year, their
score
Use synonyms
 decreased by 22
points
Use synonyms
. Two
years
Use synonyms
 after the initial year, their
score
Use synonyms
 almost declined by half
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 43
points
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2005 it went up to 55
points
Use synonyms
.
Team
Use synonyms
 A
on the other hand
Linking Words
 started with its lowest
score
Use synonyms
 over the four
seasons
Use synonyms
 at 5
points
Use synonyms
. In the next season, it rose to 11
points
Use synonyms
 and in 2004, it
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 more than thrice its number in 2003.
Although
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 season it
dive
Change the verb form
dives
show examples
 down to its lowest at 8
points
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Team
Use synonyms
 C started with 10
points
Use synonyms
 in the first year and increased by 5
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 in 2003. In the
last
Linking Words
 two
years
Use synonyms
 of the
seasons
Use synonyms
, it went down to 12
points
Use synonyms
 and eventually 5
points
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 season which was equal to
Team
Use synonyms
 A's first
score
Use synonyms
 in 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words seasons, team, years, score, points with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
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