Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior

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It is undeniable that TV and

games

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on computers have some effects. Some

people

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think that violent video

games

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and television have a negative impact on

society

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. Others contest that these elements significantly affect

people

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's actions. I am of the opinion that unsuitable

games

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for their age and overplaying could have detrimental results for

society

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Firstly

Linking Words

, inappropriate

games

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can cause many

problems

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people

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, especially

children

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. in the long run, those

games

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that show killing or hitting someone create the thought that harming is normal and

such

Linking Words

children

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will be encouraged to damage others.

for instance

Linking Words

children

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have hallucinated and hurt themselves

due to

Linking Words

playing inapt

games

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because of

showing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

suicide and a sense of violence in the game. so they should be protected by their parents to avoid irreparable

problems

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also

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, if the

problems

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are solved from the family's side, they will not reach

society

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Secondly

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, if someone plays computer

games

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or watches television addictively, they will fall behind in their life routine.

moreover

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, sitting too much causes mental and physical

problems

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in young

people

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who are prone to obesity. As a mental problem, it can be mentioned that

children

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cannot concentrate on their studies

due to

Linking Words

playing too much and will be pressured by the school and family.

to sum up

Linking Words

, excessive consumption ao anything especially playing

games

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and watching too much TV, can have harmful effects on

society

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, but issues can be prevented with proper controls.

Submitted by ngn.ss7990 on Fri Nov 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas by using more linking words or phrases. This will enhance coherence and provide a smoother reading experience.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and outlining the main points you'll discuss. This helps set a clear roadmap for the reader.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and robust.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both sides of the argument and presenting your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, including the clear introduction and conclusion, helps in guiding the reader.

task achievement

Your main points are clearly articulated and relevant to the task at hand, contributing to a well-rounded response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proliferation
desensitize
empathetic response
aggressive behavior
formative years
impressionable
catharsis
media psychology
mixed results
family environment
genetics
regulatory bodies
rating systems
vulnerable demographics
inappropriate content

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things .other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, ther people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.