In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages

#societies #people #backgrounds #work

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In the present

days

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day

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,issues concerning cultural

diversity

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have sparked much discussion.In

multi-cultural

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multicultural

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communites

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communities

community

people

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from different ethnic aspects live and work

along

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alone

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.In my opinion,the fact that individuals from cultural

diversity

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settle and work together brings more

agvantages

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advantages

than

disadvantanges

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disadvantages

. living and working in a multi-cultural society creates a wide variety of benefits.

firstly

Linking Words

,as

societies

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with various

people

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from different backgrounds leading to

grater

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greater

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creativity,innovation,and a broader range of perspectives.

For example

Linking Words

,everybody can broaden

theur

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their

horizons by living and working in

Add an article

a multi-cultural

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multi-cultural

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multicultural

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environment.

Moreover

Linking Words

multi-cultural

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multicultural

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societies

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often

take

Verb problem

play

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a significant part help attracting talented

people

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around the globe,take part in boosting economic prosperity and creating a more dynamic workforce.

For instance

Linking Words

some

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in some

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cross-culturalism

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cross-cultural

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societies

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such

Linking Words

as Singapore,

citizen

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a citizen

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there

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apply

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create a large amount of profit for their nation because of new technologies that

their

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they

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invented.Most importantly,

with

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apply

show examples

sucessful

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successful

social cohesion can lead to better understanding,tolerance,and harmony among different cultural groups.To illustrate,It

provides

Verb problem

helps

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people

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with different backgrounds

learn

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to learn

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how to cope when situations arise where they have conflicts with each other.

On the other hand

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,some

agruements

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agreements

arguments

can be made that cultural

diversity

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may occur

mre

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conflicts.The main reason for

this

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is that difficulty sometimes easily

lead

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leads

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misconception

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misconceptions

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,misunderstandings,problems,or discrimination.

But

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However

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some studies have shown that Singapore which

consider

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is considered

show examples

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apply

show examples

one of the

cultural

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culturally

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diversity

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of the world have very low crime rates

due to

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their efficient laws compared to some

monocultaralism

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monoculturalism

countries.It is

ovbious

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obvious

that cross-culturalism

societies

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actually have less to worry about in

this

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respect. Having considered all the arguments above.I would conclude that

multi-caltural

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multi-cultural

societies

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enjoy more benefits.

Submitted by Truffle & Muffin on Fri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Focus on further developing your ideas with specific examples to enhance your argument. Try to delve deeper into examples that clearly illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to your paragraphing to help guide the reader through your argument more clearly. Try to make sure that each paragraph contains one main idea that is fully developed.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of some minor grammatical and vocabulary errors. Although they don't impact the meaning significantly, they can be polished for better clarity and sophistication of the language.

introduction conclusion present

A clear introduction and conclusion were provided, effectively framing your discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of multicultural societies.

task achievement

You offered a promising response that acknowledged both sides of the argument regarding multicultural societies, showing a balanced approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural diversity
Social cohesion
Economic prosperity
Integration
Cultural identity
Heritage preservation
Language barriers
Global talent
Innovation
Inclusion
Tolerance
Intercultural understanding

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In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT GLOBALISATION AND THE GROWING NUMBER OF MULTINATIONAL COMPANIES HAVE A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THE ENVIRONMENT. WHICH VIEWPOINT DO YOU AGREE WITH? USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while some think it is best to deal with them nationally Discuss both views and give your opinion

Teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage students . Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people think that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while other argue that the aid money is misspent by governments that recieve it, so the international aid should not be given to the poor countries in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?