In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays,multi-cultural
societies
are best characterized by
people
of different cultural
backgrounds
.In my opinion,the fact that
people
of diverse cultural
backgrounds
live and work together brings more advantages than disadvantages. Living and working in a multi-cultural
society
creates a wide variety of benefits.To start with,
people
can broaden their horizons by living and working in a multi-cultural environment.Specifically,different cultures generate different viewpoints and ideas,which helps
people
to better understand the world.
Besides
,
people
from different cultural
backgrounds
contribute to the
society
in more creative ways.Evidently,countries
such
as Australia and Canada have more festivals to celebrate because of their
multi-cultural
Correct your spelling
multicultural
show examples
nature,which means rich cultures are fostered in these countries.
Above all
,
people
from different cultures help the multi-cultural
society
boost its economy.To be more specific,immigrants
as well as
their families and friends create a large amount of profit for the tourism industry,which directly generates more revenue for the multi-cultural
society
.
On the other hand
,some arguments can be made that multi-cultural
societies
may have more conflicts.The main reason for
this
is that
people
from different
backgrounds
may not understand each other well.But closer examination would reveal that
multi-cultural
Correct your spelling
multicultural
show examples
societies
such
as Australia and Canada have very low crime rates,as immigrants are carefully selected by governments.It is manifest that multi-cultural
societies
actually have less to worry about in
this
respect. Having considered all the arguments above,I would conclude that multi-cultural
societies
enjoy more benefits.
Submitted by Truffle & Muffin on

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task achievement
Try to provide more unique examples and personal insights to make your arguments stand out.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with linking words or phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with well-defined paragraphs dedicated to each main point.
task achievement
You bring up valid points about diversity enriching society culturally and economically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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