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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
I agree that the working
week
 should be shorter, and the
workers
 should have a longer
weekend
. A shorter
work
week
 can bring many benefits, including improved
health
 and
productivity
. Longer weekends allow the
workers
 to rest more, which can lead to better mental
health
 and
work
 performance.
Firstly
, a longer
weekend
 would give
people
 more
time
 to relax and have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 break. Many
workers
 feel very tired after a long
week
, and they
don?t
Change the punctuation
don't
show examples
 have enough
time
 to rest. With a longer
weekend
, they could spend more
time
 with family and friends, enjoy their
hobbites
Correct your spelling
hobbies
, or simply relax.
This
 extra
time
 helps to reduce stress and improve mental
health
.
For example
, studies have shown that
people
 who have more rest days feel less stressed and are generally happier.
Secondly
, a shorter working
week
 can
also
 increase
productivity
. When
people
work
 long hours, they may become less productive over
time
 as they
are feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 tired and make more mistakes or can't concentrate on
work
.
However
, with a shorter
work
week
,
people
 return to
work
 feeling more refreshed.
This
 allows them to
work
 faster and more accurately. Some companies have already tried a four-day
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
show examples
week
, and they have seen improvements in
productivity
 and employee satisfaction. In conclusion, I believe that a shorter
work
week
 and a longer
weekend
 would benefit both employees and companies.
Workers
 would enjoy better mental
health
 and have more
time
 for personal activities,
while
 companies would benefit from increased
productivity
 and more satisfied employees.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure consistency in using singular and plural nouns, for example, 'hobbites' should be 'hobbies'.
task response
To strengthen your argument, consider addressing potential counterarguments or alternative viewpoints.
task response
The introduction clearly states your position, which sets up the essay effectively.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as studies showing reduced stress with more rest days. This effectively supports your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing good coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, helping readers follow your argument easily.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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