The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

I agree that the working
week
should be shorter, and the
workers
should have a longer
weekend
. A shorter
work
week
can bring many benefits, including improved
health
and
productivity
. Longer weekends allow the
workers
to rest more, which can lead to better mental
health
and
work
performance.
Firstly
, a longer
weekend
would give
people
more
time
to relax and have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
break. Many
workers
feel very tired after a long
week
, and they
don?t
Change the punctuation
don't
show examples
have enough
time
to rest. With a longer
weekend
, they could spend more
time
with family and friends, enjoy their
hobbites
Correct your spelling
hobbies
, or simply relax.
This
extra
time
helps to reduce stress and improve mental
health
.
For example
, studies have shown that
people
who have more rest days feel less stressed and are generally happier.
Secondly
, a shorter working
week
can
also
increase
productivity
. When
people
work
long hours, they may become less productive over
time
as they
are feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
tired and make more mistakes or can't concentrate on
work
.
However
, with a shorter
work
week
,
people
return to
work
feeling more refreshed.
This
allows them to
work
faster and more accurately. Some companies have already tried a four-day
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
show examples
week
, and they have seen improvements in
productivity
and employee satisfaction. In conclusion, I believe that a shorter
work
week
and a longer
weekend
would benefit both employees and companies.
Workers
would enjoy better mental
health
and have more
time
for personal activities,
while
companies would benefit from increased
productivity
and more satisfied employees.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure consistency in using singular and plural nouns, for example, 'hobbites' should be 'hobbies'.
task response
To strengthen your argument, consider addressing potential counterarguments or alternative viewpoints.
task response
The introduction clearly states your position, which sets up the essay effectively.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as studies showing reduced stress with more rest days. This effectively supports your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing good coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, helping readers follow your argument easily.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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