IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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I agree that the working
week
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 should be shorter, and the
workers
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 should have a longer
weekend
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. A shorter
work
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week
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 can bring many benefits, including improved
health
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 and
productivity
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. Longer weekends allow the
workers
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 to rest more, which can lead to better mental
health
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 and
work
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 performance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a longer
weekend
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 would give
people
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 more
time
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 to relax and have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 break. Many
workers
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 feel very tired after a long
week
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, and they
don?t
Change the punctuation
don't
show examples
 have enough
time
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 to rest. With a longer
weekend
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, they could spend more
time
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 with family and friends, enjoy their
hobbites
Correct your spelling
hobbies
, or simply relax.
This
Linking Words
 extra
time
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 helps to reduce stress and improve mental
health
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.
For example
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, studies have shown that
people
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 who have more rest days feel less stressed and are generally happier.
Secondly
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, a shorter working
week
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 can
also
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 increase
productivity
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. When
people
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work
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 long hours, they may become less productive over
time
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 as they
are feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 tired and make more mistakes or can't concentrate on
work
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.
However
Linking Words
, with a shorter
work
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week
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,
people
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 return to
work
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 feeling more refreshed.
This
Linking Words
 allows them to
work
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 faster and more accurately. Some companies have already tried a four-day
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
show examples
week
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, and they have seen improvements in
productivity
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 and employee satisfaction. In conclusion, I believe that a shorter
work
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week
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 and a longer
weekend
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 would benefit both employees and companies.
Workers
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 would enjoy better mental
health
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 and have more
time
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 for personal activities,
while
Linking Words
 companies would benefit from increased
productivity
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 and more satisfied employees.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure consistency in using singular and plural nouns, for example, 'hobbites' should be 'hobbies'.
task response
To strengthen your argument, consider addressing potential counterarguments or alternative viewpoints.
task response
The introduction clearly states your position, which sets up the essay effectively.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as studies showing reduced stress with more rest days. This effectively supports your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing good coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, helping readers follow your argument easily.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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