At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Agree Benefit of young adults + supporting statement + example (support economy) Negative of older + Supporting statement + solution (lower contribution) Agree + emphasize Currently, in several nations, the number of
younger
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the younger
show examples
population
are
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is
show examples
larger than the older generation. I believe
this
condition brings more benefit to the society.
Firstly
, one of the advantages of having [younger population] is their ability to contribute to the economy as
a
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apply
show examples
labor
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labour
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.
These
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This
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group has a lot of things to offer
such
as energy and new
idea
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ideas
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that will boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development.
For example
,
on
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in
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the past decades, China has been experiencing
a
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apply
show examples
significant growth through their
millenials
Correct your spelling
millennial
contribution.
On the other hand
, the less developed workforce has
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
ability to impact the country's economy which
hinder
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hinders
show examples
their quality of life.
This
phenomenon mainly occurred in less developed countries
such
as Sudan.
Nevertheless
, education could be a solution to overcome
this
issue as educated workers will likely provide a far larger impact than those who are less fortunate.
To sum up
, the benefit
from
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of
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having
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
percentage of [younger population] in a certain country
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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its disadvantages.
However
, it is essential to keep on educating the new upcoming population to maximize their contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by auliahakim0001 on

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity and accuracy of sentence structures to ensure that ideas are conveyed coherently. For example, clarify phrases like '[younger population]' to avoid confusion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structuring between paragraphs, providing smooth transitions that clearly define how each point ties into your overarching argument.
task achievement
Provide a broader range of supporting examples for claims to increase the depth of your argument, particularly when discussing international contexts.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states a position, setting a good foundation for the essay.
task achievement
Use of specific example, such as China's economic growth, effectively supports the main point about younger populations contributing to economic development.
introduction conclusion
Conclusion succinctly sums up the points discussed and reinforces the essay's main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic composition
  • economic dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social services
  • pension systems
  • technological adeptness
  • innovative workforce
  • national savings
  • educational demand
  • employment opportunities
  • crime rates
  • economic disparity
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