It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at en early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this dictinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #dictinction

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is, should the

school

teach their

students

, how to survive financially in the

world

today. In

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

years

this

wasn’t even discuss

Change the verb form

wasn’t even discussed

show examples

Students

independently learned how to use and

dictirbute

Correct your spelling

distribute

financed

Replace the word

finance

show examples

wisely, through mistakes, which took a lot of money and time. Now

people

are beginning to realize that young

people

need

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

lessons. Personally, I tend to think that it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

should have happened earlier. I agree that today’s

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

must teach

theirs

Correct the word

their

show examples

students

to financial literacy in the new

world

Firstly

, it is well known that when you only start living alone, you think every bauble

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is necessary and you cannot live without it. A good case in point is

people

in a university life, they

knew

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

that they should buy

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

food products or

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

household appliances.

Additionally

, put it off until the

last

minute, and later they won’t have enough money. What I mean here is that

biggest

Correct article usage

the biggest

show examples

mistake of young

people

, do not know how to divide their shopping

list

Fix the agreement mistake

lists

show examples

and desires into

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

primary and secondary.

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

argument, why

school

should teach

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation his skills, for a tranquil life in the future. Learning already in

school

how to survive in

this

world

Students

will know how much money will be spent on

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

different things,

such

as electricity

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

and products. Living without surprises. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in

out

Correct your spelling

our

show examples

final analysis we can say that teaching

students

school

to well financial literacy in our

world

can bring only benefit and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not harm.

Submitted by dnm.best on Sat Nov 02 2024

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task response

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides some valid arguments. However, the examples could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your points. Consider adding more concrete scenarios or data to strengthen your arguments.

task response

Try to improve the clarity of your ideas by using simpler sentence structures. Some sentences are complex and may confuse the reader. Focus on expressing one idea clearly in each sentence.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more signposting to guide the reader through your arguments. Use phrases like 'another significant reason' or 'furthermore' to connect your ideas seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well and are essential components of a cohesive structure.

task achievement

The essay identifies a clear topic and provides reasons for your stance, showing an adequate understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

reinforce
consequences
appropriate
repercussions
effective
instilling
morality
empathy
compliance
moral growth

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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at en early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this dictinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past peope used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Popular events like the World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?