Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #tv #home #school

Watching television is regarded as an effective study method by the majority because audio-visual information can draw attention and engage interest easily. I disagree with encouraging

children

to watch

although

some

programmes have educational value. Watching

will interfere

children

with studies,

as well as

keep away them from activities concerning personal development. Watching

may

also

distract

children

's attention, especially without the supervision of their parents. Students watching

frequently have difficulty concentrating on academic assignments,

thus

leading to poor grades.

In addition

, those students hardly attend interactive activities,

such

as reading, singing and communicating, that facilitate brain development.

Secondly

, long screen time prevents

children

from social development. They spend hours in front of the

instead

of playing games with their friends or communicating with their parents.

As a result

, they become solitary, unwilling to share ideas with the other or understand others. Without communication skills, it is difficult for students to gain knowledge, draw upon ideas and achieve academic success.

On the other hand

, I agree that watching

has educational outcomes under some content easy to comprehend.

For example

, historical documentaries enable

children

to learn historical events easily

due to

visual images

while

listening to history lectures is sometimes boring. Another example is that foreign language channels make the painful English learning process easy by watching the daily communication of native speakers. In conclusion, teachers and parents should impose restrictions on

watching rather than promote

this

habit. Watching

will have a negative effect on

children

's studies,

although

sometimes it can be a teaching aid.

Submitted by 2819 on Sat Nov 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity by using transition words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.

task achievement

Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by relevant details and examples.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance while echoing the introduction's viewpoint.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as historical documentaries and foreign language channels, to support your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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