Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Adults and teenagers are frequently
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by their friends.
Pros
Correct article usage
The pros
show examples
of pressure
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not overlap the cons.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
negative impacts of
peers
Use synonyms
are increasing significantly.They
are imitating
Wrong verb form
imitate
show examples
each other by wearing, doing
activities
Use synonyms
, purchasing and using items in a particular trend and driving a car.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
two ways of
impact on
Wrong verb form
impacting
show examples
peers
Use synonyms
each other. One type of
pros
Fix the agreement mistake
pro
show examples
is effecting positively by learning particular subjects in a specific
period
Use synonyms
. Reading some kinds of books. Making different education-based games on teams and with discussions.
Main
Add an article
The main
show examples
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
doing these
activities
Use synonyms
are in
Verb problem
is to be
show examples
competence
Replace the word
competent
show examples
one
Change preposition
with one
show examples
another and they think they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
in low reputation among their friends.
For example
Linking Words
,
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my best friends
are
Verb problem
and I
show examples
imitate each other by wearing school uniforms
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
brand .They read books which I am reading and try to finish to read it in the same
period
Use synonyms
with me and even earlier as well. If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
learn a language they make an effort to learn foreign languages online.
Secondly
Linking Words
, negative impacts of them are now attending actively in competence one another. Purchasing a phone
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
in a
period
Use synonyms
.
Making
Wrong verb form
Make
show examples
relationships with their boyfriends and get lead
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
like
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.Creating trendy
video-clips
Correct your spelling
video clips
show examples
in
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
on social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, young in definite
religion
Fix the agreement mistake
religions
show examples
or nationality are trying to be their
peers
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are in other
religion
Fix the agreement mistake
religions
show examples
and different nation-based
activities
Use synonyms
and wearing outfits.
For instance
Linking Words
, my best friend
that is
Linking Words
named Barno always
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
trendy videos with her outfits which are based on other nationality.
Besides
Linking Words
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my
peers
Use synonyms
are followed by her and imitate other people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are in other
religion
Fix the agreement mistake
religions
show examples
. If these
activities
Use synonyms
continue to increase, Maybe they will be
psychological
Change the word
psychologically
show examples
ill in the future. In my eyes,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
negative
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
of
peers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
being famous on social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
and it can lead to particular issues.Fewer people are in competence by reading or learning, nowadays. In conclusion.
Cons
Correct article usage
the Cons
show examples
outweigh the pros of
Use synonyms
peers
Fix the agreement mistake
peer
show examples
pressure mostly with the impact of social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
and brandy clothes,etcetera.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into a more logical structure, such as having distinct paragraphs for each idea: introduction, reasons for positive influence, reasons for negative influence, evaluation, and conclusion.
task achievement
Try to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. For example, instead of listing examples, explain how these examples are relevant to your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay is balanced in discussing both the advantages and disadvantages for a more complete response to the task.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of peer pressure.
task achievement
Real-life examples are provided to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which are important for structuring an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: