IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe studying literature is essential for individual character building, while others think it wastes time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #literature #character #wastes #time #answear
Groups of
people
 assume that education of literature is important for personal building, on the
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 side, rest of
people
 reckon it unnecessary spend of time. After discussing both points of view,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
open my personal opinion on
this
 topic and explain why
people
 should learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
literature at least in school or library.
To begin
 with, reading is one of
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 essential skills, with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of which
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 can absorb and
undersatnd
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understand
a new information
Remove the article
new information
a piece of new information
show examples
.
Moreover
,
alomst
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almost
 every nation in
entire
Add an article
the entire
show examples
 world has been using reading
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
aproximantly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 for over a few thousand
of
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apply
show examples
years.
In addition
, the first
discovories
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discoveries
 of
liturature
Correct your spelling
literature
 and different types of
books
 were made in
times
Correct article usage
the times
show examples
 of
anciend
Correct your spelling
ancient
 Egypt, which proves that
people
 found it important even so long ago. Reading
of
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apply
show examples
such
books
developing
Wrong verb form
develops
show examples
 your
flexebility
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flexibility
 in
vocablury
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vocabulary
,
as well as
, your general speaking and how you can present your thoughts
for
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to
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 other
people
, so that reading is
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 ability in today's world.
However
, for many of
us
Add a comma
us,
show examples
 it's hard to read systematically
such
books
 or poems and teachers still
forced
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 many students to learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Even though, these activities or commitments feel like a waste,
so
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apply
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it might be a sign that we need to reassess our priorities and make adjustments.
For instance
, for some
people
 it's not
neccessary
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necessary
, so they don't have any motivation or enthusiasm to read it. In my opinion,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of lessons should be a personal choice, so that students
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 try various types of genres in literature.
Likewise
,
such
 a resolution will influence desire and understanding for
people
 who
don't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
 pleased by classical
books
. In the end, I thoroughly believe, that
investingating
Correct your spelling
investigating
investigation
 in genres of
liturature
Correct your spelling
literature
, which you're obsessed with it's
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
improvemance
Correct your spelling
improvement
 of yourself.
Submitted by stepanantoniuk07 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically, improving the flow of your arguments from one paragraph to the next. Consider using linking words (e.g., 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' 'on the other hand') to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and experiences to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument. Briefly mention your opinion in the introduction to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Consider reviewing your ideas to ensure clarity. Try to explain your main points in a bit more depth to make your essay more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay effectively introduces both viewpoints about studying literature.
Task Achievement
Your discussion on the historical importance of literature and the skills it enhances is a great point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your opinion and reinforces the importance of choosing literature genres individuals are passionate about.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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