Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on tv has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restrictions on them. What is your opinion on this.

Some people believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should pass laws to limit detailed coverage of any
crime
Use synonyms
incident
,
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apply
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because
this
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encourages more
crime
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. I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
statement, because criminals learn other
law breaking
Add a hyphen
law-breaking
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techniques and they learn ways to
eccape
Correct your spelling
escape
from police custody. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
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agreeing with
this
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statement is
,
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apply
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when
Correct word choice
that when
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any criminal activity is shown on television,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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people who are involved in
such
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crimes,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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plan their next
crime
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accordingly
Linking Words
. To illustrate, a
stydy
Correct your spelling
study
conducted in
india
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India
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showed that
crime
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rates increased
Change preposition
by upto
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upto
Correct your spelling
up to
40%,
due to
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detailed coverage of every
crime
Use synonyms
story, by
media
Correct article usage
the media
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. Another reason for supporting
this
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statement is that
,
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apply
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law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
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learn different ways to escape from
police
Add an article
the police
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department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
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. They watch complete documentaries and plan
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
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based on the details provided in the documentaries.
For instance
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,
Inwas
Correct your spelling
I was
watching an interview
of
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with
show examples
a robber in Which he explained
that
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apply
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
how police
was
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were
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unable to locate him
from
Change preposition
for
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1 year and how he learnt
this
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idea by watching criminal series.
To conclude
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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should pass strict rules to limit printing or showing extra knowledge about murders and snatching. Higher authorities should take action and implement heavy penalties on news channels presenting
such
Linking Words
shows to limit
crime
Use synonyms
rates in the country.

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Grammar
Try to proofread your essay to catch minor errors, such as spelling and grammar mistakes (e.g., 'eccape' should be 'escape', 'Inwas' should be 'I was', and 'stydy' should be 'study').
Detail enhancement
Some sections of your argument may need more clarity. For example, you mentioned watching a robber's interview; consider providing more context or details to enhance the comprehensibility.
Support/detail
Ensure your points are consistently well-supported with examples and explanations to maintain coherence throughout your essay.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your stance on it.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes your essay well and reiterates your stance clearly.
Examples
You have included relevant examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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