The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The supplied table indicates how many
workers
emigrated to four various countries temporarily in 2003 and 2006, and
also
the
number
of employees per 1000 in 2006. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
number
of temporary migrant
workers
was in the US.
However
, New Zealand had the lowest
percentage
of temporary migrant job-seekers over the period. In 2006, the
number
of migrants who tend to work in America temporarily was 678,000, (which was the highest
number
of migrant
workers
over the period) just ahead of
this
number
in 2003 at 577,000 migrants.
Moreover
, the
percentage
of temporary
workers
who emigrated to the UK was 137,000 in 2003,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
this
number
approximately
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
266,000
workers
in 2006.
In contrast
, the
number
of temporary migrant
workers
in New Zealand in 2006 was slightly more than the
percentage
of these employees in 2003 at 87,000 and 65,000, respectively. (which was the lowest
number
of immigrants over the whole year). Whilst, the
percentage
of migrant
workers
per 1000 people was 21.1 in 2006. (which was the highest
percentage
of temporary migrants per 1000 individuals over the period).
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, number, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: