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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
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The
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 pie charts show data on the
electricity
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production
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 from fuel sources in
Australia
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 and in
France
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 in 1980 and 2000. As is observed from the pie charts, coal was the main source of
electricity
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production
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 in
Australia
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while
Linking Words
France
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 used nuclear power more in recent years to produce their
electricity
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 demand.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data,
Australia
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 produced 100
units
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 of
electricity
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 in 1980 and 170
units
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 in 2000
while
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 the
production
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 in
France
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 was 90
units
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 and it doubled in the year 2000. In
Australia
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, coal was the main source of
electricity
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production
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 and half of the total
electricity
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 produced came from coal in 1980. Natural gas and hydropower contributed
of
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to
show examples
 producing 20
units
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 of
electricity
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while
Linking Words
 the remaining 10
units
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 were produced from oil. The dependency on coal increased in 2000 for
electricity
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production
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while
Linking Words
 oil and natural gases were very minimally used for
electricity
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production
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. Nuclear power was not used in
Australia
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 as a source for producing
electricity
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in
France
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, natural gas and coal together produced half of the
electricity
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 in 1980. The use of nuclear power increased significantly in
France
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 in 2000 amounting to 126
units
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this
Linking Words
 year compared to 15
units
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 20 years ago.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, australia, france, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
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