IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate about the potential advantages and disadvantages of reducing the number of workdays in a week and extending the weekend for
employees
. I believe that reducing the working week is a positive and effective way to boost employee productivity and engagement. Shortening the
workweek
 offers several benefits. These include higher productivity, better
work
-life balance, less stress, and happier
employees
. Studies show that working fewer hours can lead to more
work
 getting done and higher profits for businesses.
Additionally
, happier
employees
 are more likely to stay with their company. Having more free time helps create a healthier balance between
work
 and personal life, reducing stress and absences from
work
.
Overall
, a shorter
workweek
 is advantageous for both employers and
employees
.
Furthermore
, A shorter
workweek
 can improve productivity by helping
employees
 feel less tired and more rested, increasing their focus and performance. Longer weekends can make
employees
 happier and healthier, leading to less stress, anxiety, and time off
work
. In the end, a shorter
workweek
 can benefit both
employees
' satisfaction and the
overall
work
 environment.
While
 shorter workweeks with longer weekends may improve employee well-being and efficiency, they can
also
 lead to reduced output and efficiency. The main argument against
this
 change is the potential negative impact on company performance.
This
 concern may discourage businesses from adopting
such
 policies, prioritizing efficiency and financial gain over employee well-being.
Submitted by t.jenab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response is quite comprehensive, covering both sides of the argument. However, introducing a stronger conclusion would enhance your argument, reinforcing your stance.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas with more varied connective words or phrases, which would make the flow of your essay smoother.
task achievement
Adding specific examples or studies could further strengthen your argument and demonstrate deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a solid structure by presenting your viewpoint in the introduction and elaborating on it in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You covered the advantages of a shorter workweek well, integrating points about productivity, work-life balance, and employee happiness effectively.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines potential drawbacks, demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: