IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently travelled on the local bus service in your town. You think the driver drove badly and was rude to the passengers. Write a letter to the manager of the local bus service. In your letter - introduce yourself and say when the incident happened - describe what you saw and heard - say what you would like the bus company to do about it You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam, You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#bus #service #town #driver #passengers #manager #incident #company #addresses #sir #madam #minutes
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am a loyal customer of your transportation company. I often ride your buses, and I know how your drivers usually work. But now, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my
last
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 travel experience on your bus. It was 04 April 2024, about 5 p.m. bus number was 5. I witnessed awful driver behaviour and dangerous driving during our bus journey. The driver did not stick to speed limits.
Moreover
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, he was notably rude to the passengers. In my opinion, your company should pay attention to
this
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 case because if one of the drivers starts doing it constantly, the others will start doing the same things. In the end, it can lead to a decrease in your profits. I believe you could have a one-to-one meeting with
this
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 driver to discuss the cause of
this
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 behaviour. It can give him an opportunity to improve Thank you in advance for your attention to
this
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 issue. Yours faithfully, Alex Smith
Submitted by Igo on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct point. The first paragraph should introduce the situation, the second describe the issues, and the third suggest a resolution. This structure is mostly followed, but more detail could be provided in each section to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, effectively setting the context and closing the letter. To further improve, consider adding a closing remark that reinforces your desired outcome or expresses hope for a positive response.
Task Achievement
You've effectively communicated your concerns and suggested a resolution, which is great for task achievement. To further enhance your score, consider providing more details concerning the incident, such as specific examples of rudeness or dangerous driving, for a more compelling argument.
Task Achievement
The writing tone is suitably formal and polite, fitting the letter's context. Further improvement could involve varying sentence structures and utilizing a wider range of vocabulary to convey your points more dynamically.
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