Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #pressure

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is quite common these days that the young are much influenced by

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

and provide a logical conclusion.

Peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

can lead to healthy

competition

Use synonyms

among youngsters and encourage them to push themselves to be better.

Firstly

Linking Words

, healthy

competition

Use synonyms

among peers can motivate individuals to strive for excellence.

This

Linking Words

way, they can push themselves to achieve their full potential.

For example

Linking Words

, two

friends

Use synonyms

, Alex and Ben are both on the school’s track team and they push each other to train harder and run faster.

This

Linking Words

friendly rivalry helps them both improve their skills.

Secondly

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

have opportunities and environments to develop themselves better. In fact, if young

people

Use synonyms

are surrounded by good

people

Use synonyms

, they can learn from them

such

Linking Words

as trying anything new or discovering new ideas to help them overcome some difficult problems.

However

Linking Words

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

has some major disadvantages like anxiety

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

depression and rivalries between

friends

Use synonyms

. In fact, working or studying with better students can make young

people

Use synonyms

uncomfortable.

For example

Linking Words

, when I study in a class with a lot of classmates who learn much better than me, I feel very pressured and ashamed. What’s more,

such

Linking Words

pressure

Use synonyms

sometimes leads to unhealthy

competition

Use synonyms

that turns

friends

Use synonyms

into enemies. Young

people

Use synonyms

, whose friendships are often fragile and easily broken, may find themselves feeling isolated and stressed

due to

Linking Words

intense

competition

Use synonyms

with peers.

This

Linking Words

heightened vulnerability can make them more susceptible to the negative influences of

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

, potentially leading to depression.

However

Linking Words

, if young

people

Use synonyms

learn to manage their friendships and

competition

Use synonyms

in a healthy way, they can avoid the negative effects of

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

has certain disadvantages like

feel

Change the verb form

feeling

show examples

pressured and ashamed and conflicts between

friends

Use synonyms

, it has an extremely positive impact on personal

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

and provides healthy

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

for teenagers. I believe that

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

benefits of

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

exceed its drawbacks.

Submitted by Writing9 on Sun Nov 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples

Try to provide more varied examples and evidence for your points to strengthen your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Expand on some ideas to ensure depth and clarity. This might include elaborating on how peer pressure specifically leads to anxiety and depression.

logical structure

Consider adding topic sentences to each paragraph to clearly outline the main idea and maintain clear direction throughout.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.

logical structure

The logical flow between paragraphs is strong, helping the reader follow your arguments smoothly.

complete response

You effectively balance both the advantages and disadvantages in your discussion, which contributes to a comprehensive response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

325 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over how to be fruitful in sport. While some claim that people have to be physical strength, the opposite makes a statement that mentally strong plays a more crucial role in sports . In my opinion, while each has its own perk , I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors.
6.5
band
Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. It is disagreed that classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analysing the incapability of disciplining classroom students with technology, as well as the limitation in the learning process of students taught with technology will prove this.
4.5
band
Some people think that a sense or competetion in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Over the last few years, the question is whether a sense or competetion in children should be encouraged or children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults has become one of the most controversial ones in many parts of the world. While some people strongly support the opinion that the sense or competetion in children should be encouraged, there are other people who think that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. In this essay I will discuss both points of view and try to draw some conclusions.
6
band
Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, people tend to use their smartphones in almost their leisure time. There are some causes of this development and I strongly believe that people use technology devices in most of their free time is a negative evolution.
5
band
Plastic bags,plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for environment What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?
Plastic instruments, bottles, bags, and packaging damage a lot for the environment. Nowadays, we have a lot of manufacturing farms. Besides, garbage is everywhere surrounding us and it causes the to air be more polluted.

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense or competetion in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Plastic bags,plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for environment What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?