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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #student #enrolments #manchester #university #summarise #features #comparisons
The table provides information about
students
 who register at Manchester University every
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
 years; 1937, 1967, and 2017.
Overall
, it is obvious that 2017 had the biggest
number
 of
students
 enrolled and
students
’ percentage from overseas, and 1967 recorded the highest percentage of male
students
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to two other years.
On the other hand
, the lowest
number
 of
students
 registered and those who came from outside of the United Kingdom (UK) were in 1937. 2017 recorded the highest
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
 enrolled at 6254 people compared to 1967 and 1937.
This
year
also
 indicates the biggest diversity of
students
; 32% of
students
 or equal to 102 countries came from overseas.
In addition
, 1967 was the second rank in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
students
 registered, and the uniqueness of
this
year
 was that female
students
 were dominating the university, even
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compared to the two other years.
On the other hand
, the lowest
number
 of
students
 enrolled and those who came outside of the United Kingdom were in 1937 at 327.
Contrast
Change preposition
In contrast
show examples
 with 2017,
this
year
 indicates less diversity of
students
, at 6% or
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
 to four countries registered at Manchester University.
In contrast
, the percentage of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 vs
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
year
contrary
Add a missing verb
is contrary
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2017, where
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 at 45% and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 at 55%.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, number, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "indicates" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment numbers
  • increase/decrease in student numbers
  • post-war baby boom
  • globalization
  • technological advancement
  • education accessibility
  • demographic changes
  • overseas students
  • gender representation in education
  • international reputation
  • higher education
  • university capacity
  • social factors
  • economic influences
  • political factors
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