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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average house prices in 3 countries between the years 1997-2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average house prices in 3 countries between the years 1997-2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data provide key information about the average cost of homes in some countries in the years 1997 to 2014.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, all the houses in the graph
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased, especially in
country
Use synonyms
 A, which grew from approximately 125 thousand dollars in 1997 to more than half a million dollars in 2003.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is clear to the naked eye that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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house's
Change noun form
house
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 prices declined in 2008, except the county A,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 soon recovered after that. Another information that deserves to be mentioned is that all the countries started from approximately the same point,
country
Use synonyms
 A was the highest in the beginning and remained the highest in the end even with some decreasing in the middle. In the case of
country
Use synonyms
 B, it started second and it became the highest in the next year,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it declined again until 2014.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
country
Use synonyms
 C there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
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Correct article usage
a lots
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lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
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 of information to report but it was the lowest and still has the lowest house prices among all three countries.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average house prices
  • significant trend
  • fluctuations
  • comparison
  • peak
  • lowest point
  • steady period
  • economic factors
  • political factors
  • historical context
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • noticeable fluctuations
  • major changes
  • given period
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