The diagram gives information about changes in a student accommodation building

The diagram gives information about changes in a student accommodation building
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps illustrate information about the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
student accommodation in 2010 compared to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a considerable increase in the number of student -
bedroom
Fix the agreement mistake
bedrooms
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the size of the campus
also
Linking Words
expanded remarkably.
Initially
Linking Words
, the main entrance and hallway remained stable. On the left side, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
a
Use synonyms
student-bedroom
Correct your spelling
student bedroom
show examples
and bathroom in the two periods. Meanwhile, on the right side, the garden was transformed into a car
parking
Replace the word
park
show examples
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present. An en-suite room was constructed, which was located
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the hallway. And two
student-bedrooms
Correct your spelling
student bedrooms
show examples
at the corner were kept intact.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there was a kitchen between two
Use synonyms
student-bedroom
Correct your spelling
student bedrooms
show examples
in 2010. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present, it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
used for
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. The living room was rebuilt, which was altered into a
Use synonyms
student-bedroom
Correct your spelling
student bedroom
show examples
. A
Use synonyms
student-bedroom
Correct your spelling
student bedroom
show examples
was constructed, which was replaced
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
the garden.
Finally
Linking Words
, the garden, which was located north of the campus, expanded at the present time compared to 2010.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words student-bedroom with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 4 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: